Two Brains One Bot

Christy’s Hot Tips: Questionable Advice That Might Improve Your Life

Season 1 Episode 22

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0:00 | 1:01:30

In this episode, Christy comes in HOT with a completely unhinged collection of “hot tips” covering everything from productivity hacks to survival skills to… honestly, things no one asked for.

Some of these might actually improve your life. Some of them might get you side-eyed in public. All of them are delivered with full confidence and giggles.

We get into:

  • Productivity hacks that may or may not work 
  • Random survival tips you’ll probably never need (but will now know forever) 
  • Questionable life advice presented as fact 
  • A Passionate Christy rant about traffic laws
  • And the usual chaos, tangents, and interruptions you’d expect from us 

Are these tips genius? Are they completely unhinged? We’ll let you decide.

Love what you hear? Check out the videos on socials:

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Two Brains One Bye.

SPEAKER_01

Hey everybody. How's it going? Good.

SPEAKER_00

Good. This is Christy.

SPEAKER_01

I'm Ashley.

SPEAKER_00

Um how was your week last week? We were on a a little bit of a spring break with work.

SPEAKER_01

Um my week was good. I don't know, it was an eclipse week, so it was a little bit crazy with my kiddos. I don't know if your kids experience that, but my kids are like just crazier. Like my daughter woke up a couple times in the middle of the night when she normally doesn't, like and came and crawled in my bed. Like But now she's fine. The eclipse is passed and we're good.

SPEAKER_00

Nope. Did that was the eclipse did that have anything to do with the blood moon? I don't know these years. Oh, cool. Um, I will say my week was like a little bit unhinged just because it was like a lighter like work week, like there wasn't as much coming in, so that's a great time to like really rally. Oh or what'd you say, squirrel? Squirrel. Oh squirrel. That's what I did do. I did squirrel. But so I worked all week, but I kept being like, oh, this is this is a later baby. And then all of a sudden that later baby came to fruition on Friday.

SPEAKER_01

And you were in labor on Friday, and you're like, Friday.

SPEAKER_00

I know. Friday I had to do all the things that I had like been like later baby for the whole week. So the rooster came to roost.

SPEAKER_01

Oh shoot.

SPEAKER_00

And it was not fun. But it reminded me of have you heard of the two-minute rule?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if I have. It sounds familiar, but I don't know if I have it.

SPEAKER_00

I bet you have. So it's if something takes less than two minutes to do, just do it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, I haven't heard that.

SPEAKER_00

Don't later it.

SPEAKER_01

Are you so are you my mom?

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes I feel like it.

SPEAKER_01

Fair.

SPEAKER_00

Um fair. No. Uh but if, like, you know, that email, is it gonna take less than two minutes to reply to it? Just reply to it. Yeah. Uh like putting items away in your home, is it gonna take less than two minutes just to put it in the correct spot? Just put it in the right spot. Right. Load the dishes.

SPEAKER_01

And what that does is I think you've said to me before, don't put it down, put it away. Is that is something that you say?

SPEAKER_00

That's that's a very much a staple of my husband. Oh don't put it down, put it away.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, yeah, I think you've said that to me once before, and I was like, that is a really good rule to have.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, don't put it down, put it away. Yeah, but it just prevents the slow buildup of annoying little tasks. And then all of a sudden, here I am on Friday, and I have all these like annoying little tasks that just broke my brain. My brain was broken.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um, anyways, so all of that this week has led me to write a podcast episode about life tips that people somehow make it to adulthood without knowing.

SPEAKER_01

I love it. Tell me, I need it on a magnet somewhere.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You what?

SPEAKER_01

I need to like have you printed on a magnet so I can just have it on my friends.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, maybe. We'll we'll see how good they are. Okay. Um, but some are practical, some are survival, and some are just random facts that maybe you should know or maybe you do know, but we're gonna we're gonna talk about them today. Okay, so the first segment of these tips are about like productivity and like future you. So future Christie, which I commonly say like again, later baby, if you haven't picked up on it. A later baby is something you're gonna do in the near future. It's a later baby. And then we also say later teen.

SPEAKER_01

Later teen, that's a a later adult.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, later. So a later teen is well in the future, and a later adult is just never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01

It's a fun way to say I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_00

So we later baby a lot of things. Um, but anyway, so I commonly am like, future Christie will do this, and then future Christie gets here and she's like, Man, that'll be a good thing. Past Christie's the worst. She thinks I'm very capable. Um, but anyway, so number one productivity tip do small things during the day that benefit you in the future. So is that putting the dishes away now, like putting them in the dishwasher now instead of at the end of the night doing all the dishes? Right. Yep. Uh pack tomorrow's lunch. I always think about doing that because it's so annoying. I like get all the way ready. I'm like down in the kitchen, like maybe I'm making my coffee to go or and then I'm like, I guess I have to eat lunch again.

SPEAKER_01

I guess I have to eat again. Yeah. Which in this economy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so but but it is always really nice if I maybe have some leftovers and it's like, cool, lunch is already taken care of, because sometimes it takes a few minutes, and those few minutes when you're just like, ah, I just want to get out on the road to my short commute.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I shouldn't complain. Tell me more about your hard life. Yeah, it's so hard. Um, or like laying out your gym clothes because it almost kind of commits you. So, anyways, future future Christie is always happy when present Christy sets her up for success instead of failure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's really nice of you to do that for you.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Um, next. So be essentially, what did you say?

SPEAKER_01

I just think I'm just being a dick.

SPEAKER_00

It's your turn. Yeah. That's my favorite part. Um okay, so the next hot tip. So I don't know what this episode's gonna be called, but it might be called hot tips. I don't know. TBD. Just the later baby.

SPEAKER_01

Just the dip, the tip, just the tips.

SPEAKER_00

The hot tips. Um my gosh. So always write down good ideas. So are you ever just like beboping through life and you're like, this is such a good idea. This is something I want to look into later. This is something. And then do you do what I do where you're like, I'm not gonna forget.

SPEAKER_01

No, what I do usually, it's either when I'm driving or I'm in the shower. If I'm driving, I usually text like the last person who is talking to me.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, lucky. But lucky for them.

SPEAKER_01

I like yeah, you sometimes it's you. Yeah, it is. And I'll push it.

SPEAKER_00

Ignore this.

SPEAKER_01

Ignore this, and then I'll just spout off whatever I'm gonna say. Yeah. Because I have like that talk to text thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but anyway, so just write it down. Just take like two hot seconds and just write it down. So, but I'm in my I've I think I've done a good job now, or I guess I don't remember, but I feel like I've done a good job lately of being like the brain lies to you. Like, I always think, oh, I'm not gonna forget this. I'll look into this later. No, you're not. Get her like be so for real.

SPEAKER_01

Be so for real.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so I have like a couple notes in my like Google Keep. Do you use Google Keep?

SPEAKER_01

I don't.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's very cool.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and actually, Google Keep, let's just this was just put out an ad for Google Keep. Um, Kenny and I have a shared Google Keep list. It's our grocery list, so we can just say, like, hey, okay, put this on our grocery list. And then it'll put things on our grocery list that we share, and then it's like, hey, can you stop at the store and grab the things that are on the list? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Anyways. Um sounds like notes, and like we have uh we have Apple notes and I'm sure there's an Apple equivalent I don't know about.

SPEAKER_00

Um, because I am a Google person.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uh in Android. Um, but what I've done actually done more lately is because even even though I put them in the Google Keep Notes app, that then requires me to go back into the Google Keep notes. So now what I do is I just add a quick task in my calendar and I set it for a time where I'm like, okay, I will probably be, you know, sitting down at this time and it's something that it will remind me to do or look into this or pay this fee, like whatever it is. You know what I mean? So I put things on my calendar like that. So, anyways, hot tip there. Put it on your Google Calendar to just like order that birthday gift or pay that bill.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. The thing about me though is I've been getting really used to that snooze feature. So I'll just be like, eh, I'll snooze that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, so speaking of my last week where I was like, this is a later baby, I had to move so many tasks every day. And finally, like on the fourth day, I was like, I'm just gonna do this thing so I can stop.

SPEAKER_01

I do that with email sometimes. And then I get overwhelmed and I'm like, hey, can you help me with these?

SPEAKER_00

Like, can I send all these to you? Truth comes out. No, no, it's fine. We're a team. We're a team, we help each other. Okay. Next hot tip. Have you heard of habit stacking?

SPEAKER_01

I have, like when you complete a task and then you feel good about having completed that task, so you keep like completing tasks. Yeah. Say yes, Ashley. Yeah, yeah, just right. All right. No next, apparently not. No.

SPEAKER_00

Habit stacking is creating like a routine, but it's it's stacking um good habits on top of each other. So, like uh an example, maybe if you're not great at brushing your teeth, or not not everybody brushes their teeth. Not great at washing your face. I'm not good at washing my face. Right. But I have become very good at washing my face because I'm like, hey, I brush my teeth. Guess what I have to do right after that? Wash my face. So it's habit stacking. Um, another one, it's it's it's just that you don't need um, you don't need the motivation, you just need a ritual. You need to like always be doing something or always be doing something in the same order. So, like, maybe for working out, you change your clothes, you fill your water bottle, you throw back some pre-workout, and guess what your body says? She's done these three things. Guess what? It's time to go work out.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I like habit stacking.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Um, I also am trying to get into the habit stack of making the bed every morning.

SPEAKER_01

I love a made bed. Do you make your bed every day? I don't, but when I do, I feel like I have my life together so much. And I like opening the windows too. Mm-hmm. Like not open, like not the actual windows, but like the shutters that we have. Yeah. It just something about that natural light and then like the bed made.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and like nicely made, not just like pulled the covers up. Yeah. My spouse and I kind of got into a a discussion this week about because he hates putting the pillows on the bed, like the decorative pillows. Yeah. And I'm like, what would a made bed look like to you? And he's like, the covers pulled up. What I do every single morning, and I'm like, that's not making the bed. You gotta, you gotta tuck the sides. And he's like, but then I have to untuck them every night, and I'm like, that's fine, I can do that for you if you want.

SPEAKER_01

But is that what a turn down service is?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I don't know. But it just looks so nice. Like I have like a low profile bed. Um, and so if like all the covers are just like nicely tucked in, and it's like it just looks like nobody's touched it, and the pillows are up. Chef's kiss.

SPEAKER_01

And then every time you go into that room, it's like calming for your brain because it everything's where it's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because otherwise, if I don't do that, then all the pillows are at the bottom of the bed with the laundry that I'm ignoring. But if they're on the bed, then only the laundry's there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then I'll probably do the laundry because it's not hidden by pillows.

SPEAKER_01

Well, or you can just more easily ignore the one little pile instead of the huge monster pile.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So, anyways, we have this fun thing where we like to like wash all the laundry and then we fold it and then we just leave it in the baskets.

SPEAKER_00

It drives me crazy. How about stack it somehow? No, I need to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I was really good for a while there when I was working from home where I could like do my husband and I's laundry and my my kids' laundry once a week, and I was like crushing it on the laundry game. And then for whatever reason, you get behind one time and you never catch back.

SPEAKER_00

You never get back in the routine.

SPEAKER_01

At one point, I was like, That's it, we're gonna be nudists. I'm not doing another thing of laundry.

SPEAKER_00

Like, I just you know what? We're just buying all new clothes. We're done.

SPEAKER_01

We're done. Throw it away. If it's dirty, throw it away.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, when your kids get older and they can do their own laundry, is a game changer. Yeah. And you get a laundry basket for every single person, yeah, and then you sort it, and everybody just has their own laundry basket, and and then it eventually it'll be a while. Like, I mean, you could even do it now where they each have their own laundry basket, and then you go into their room with them and they can pretend to help you. Yeah, but now it's just like, oh, there's your laundry basket. Get it going.

SPEAKER_01

That is a really good idea. We separate ours and theirs, like we'll do ours and theirs, but having everybody have their own is a really good idea. I'm tired, grandpa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Anyways, hot tips. I wish I had like a music right now where I could like maybe ching a something and be like, ha tip. And we segue to the next one.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, just the hot tip.

SPEAKER_00

Um Ashley got an invitation to come sing somewhere this week. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_01

The hot tip.

SPEAKER_00

She got like a job offer with an ad company.

SPEAKER_01

This is a message to our boss, like what? I'm gonna be a pop star. Gonna be a pop star.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Next one. And I don't agree with this one, but I'm curious if you do. Okay. So body double productivity trick. So if you struggle to focus, work in the same room as someone else who is working. It's called bottle body doubling, and it helps your brain stay on task. This is why people study better in the library. No. Huge false.

SPEAKER_01

Huge false.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

At least if you like the people I mean, because you and I do not get anything done when we work together.

SPEAKER_00

No. Well, some days. Some days. But there's a lot of days where I get home and I'm like, I bugged the crap out of so-and-so today.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. But I get more working alone. Yeah. I'm going to throw that one in the trash pile. Yeah. Body double productivity. Trash.

SPEAKER_01

It just sounds like you're lonely.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You just want to sit by somebody. Gross. Even like studying in the library. I like to people watch. So like when I would be studying, I would just be like, why didn't they choose to wear that today? Or like, that guy is legit picking his nose in the middle of the library.

SPEAKER_00

No cares to give. No cares to give.

SPEAKER_01

No cares.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And wiping it under the table. Oh.

SPEAKER_00

Another life hack. Don't touch the underside of tables.

SPEAKER_01

Don't, don't touch just that's none of your business under there.

SPEAKER_00

None of your business. Back of your hair, none of your business.

SPEAKER_01

Back of your hair, none of your business.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So now, so those are kind of productivity ones. Let's talk about everyday life hacks. Okay. Recipe website trick. If you find a recipe online, click the print option. Even if you're on like your mobile or whatever, like clearly you're not printing, but um, it will then take you to just the recipe, and it removes the four-page life story about how the author's grandmother invented lasagna during the Civil War.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I've told you that I that um somebody had the idea of doing a show where the oh, where the murderer like confesses to murders in in that like four-page long thing before recipe is.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I just hate it. I'm like, shut up.

SPEAKER_01

Nobody cares about how chicken noodle saved your life.

SPEAKER_00

Nope. Nope. Nope, because it didn't. Okay. This one I'm super curious to try. Okay. So if you use like just like the regular cheap drip coffee maker, leave about an ounce of water in the crop before brewing. So you know, like you fill up the crop with water and then you dump it in, but leave a little bit on the bottom that then warms up. And then as your coffee's brewing, those first drops of coffee aren't burning at the bottom. Therefore, they're not like flavoring the rest of the pot as being burned coffee.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, fascinating.

SPEAKER_00

I know. I don't have one of those coffee makers, but there is one at work and I'm gonna try it someday.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if I've ever experienced burnt coffee though.

SPEAKER_00

Like I don't think maybe you're just used to do you have like a drip coffee thing?

SPEAKER_01

I have try it. Yeah, I might have to try that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

But I don't think I've ever I can like I know what you're talking about where it like it can taste burnt because it happens at work a lot.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But I don't know if mine does that.

SPEAKER_00

Oh well, you'll have to find out. We'll have to let us know. Because maybe, maybe you're just used to burned coffee.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe I can definitely tell when one of those bigger coffee changes it burns my coffee and then I'm pissed because I spent seven dollars on burnt coffee.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, thanks. Also, um, a tiny pinch of salt on the um grounds will reduce the bitterness. So, like before it brews, like just a little what's this called?

SPEAKER_01

Salt bay?

SPEAKER_00

Salt salt bay, yeah. Okay, anyways.

SPEAKER_01

The mouth motions are real good. People are gonna love that.

SPEAKER_00

People love mouth sounds yeast, indeed. Um, but I'm reading that, I was like, do I want to start with just putting a little pinch of coffee or a pinch of salt in my coffee? Maybe.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe maybe that would help me.

SPEAKER_00

Probably delicious, maybe because it just cuts the the bitterness. So um, yeah, I love salt. Uh uh I love a touch of salt. Okay, next one. I thought this one was so good. And I'd never heard this before.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

If your toilet is overflowing, we're not gonna stand there and be like, oh no, oh no, what do we do? And you're like doing the dance of like, do I run away? Do I stay here? Do I run away? What am I doing? No, you're gonna you're gonna reach behind your toilet and you're gonna turn off the valve, the water valve. Duh. Duh. Duh. Yes. So when I save your life, duh after you listen to this podcast, please send me a shout out and a gift card.

SPEAKER_01

To a plumbing place, because no, not to a plumbing place.

SPEAKER_00

Like to like, I don't know. I want to go to I want to go eat somewhere. Um but it stops so I can plug up the toilet. Yeah, so I can plug it up. No, I don't plug it up. I don't know. Sure, Jan. Only someone that does that would say that. Um, but it stops more water from entering the tank and buys you some time before your bathroom becomes Lake Michigan. Oh with dead bodies and stuff, little little floaters. No, but I thought that was actually like incredibly smart. I'd never heard that before. And um, and I'm so going back, if you listen to a couple episodes ago where I talked about um when we went to an Airbnb and we couldn't figure out how to turn on the shower because you had to pull the little faucet thing down on the tub faucet. Yeah, anyways, and my sister commented that she had also run into that problem. Well, we're I'm over here saving lives with these toilet trips.

SPEAKER_01

This is now an advice plumbing podcast. So follow us for all your plumbing podcast needs. So podcast plumbing, that's really hard to say. Podcast, plumbing.

SPEAKER_00

That was the only plumbing hack. This is just a life hack.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's unfortunate.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. Okay. This next one, hot disclaimer. Okay, hot. Hot disclaimer for this hot tip.

SPEAKER_01

Because these are hot tips.

SPEAKER_00

This is more of a like, I'm gonna tell you something, and then you're gonna use it as you see fit because it's kind of risky.

SPEAKER_01

Risky. But I got this one from Reddit.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I did love Reddit. Yeah. Um, okay, so let's think about the walls in our homes here in the US. They're simply just like two by fours. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like about roughly 16 inches apart.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then over top of those on both sides.

SPEAKER_01

Sheetrock.

SPEAKER_00

Just sheetrock. And um we know that I and there's obviously like more to it than that. Like there's engineering and stuff. But generally speaking, that's what they are: two by fours with a space, and then the drywall. Um, and if you've ever slammed a door open with any type of force, whether that be light or you're running away from a spider from your bedroom into the bathroom, um, that drywall is pretty fragile. Like it's like pretty breakable. Like, I could probably punch a hole through any wall.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

If I'm mad enough.

SPEAKER_01

You got that gains, man.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So knowing that, knowing that you can probably just like break a hole in a wall and get to another room. Like, you could break a hole in your side of the wall and then break it through on the next side, and then you could like climb through, you know?

SPEAKER_01

You mean the door? Like a doorway?

SPEAKER_00

What if the door is locked or blocked by something like fire?

SPEAKER_01

That's a good point. I actually thank you. I thought about this.

SPEAKER_00

That's a hot tip. I've never thought about that.

SPEAKER_01

My kids' bedrooms are on the other side of our house, and I've always thought about like if there's a fire in between us, I would have to break down the wall that separates like what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00

Never thought of that in my lifetime. Anyways, and I'm not prom I'm not promoting this idea, but like, I mean, what if you like got stuck in a bedroom and like the handle broke off and you like had to go to the bathroom or something and you just had to break that?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, establish a pea corner.

SPEAKER_00

Um immediately establish the peak corner. So here's where it's risky is what?

SPEAKER_02

It's just funny.

SPEAKER_00

It is funny. Um here's where it's risky. So in between these walls, like I said, it's like probably a little more complicated. Yeah, because there's like electricity and plumbing and stuff in between. I'm pretty sure I can figure out where the plumbing is, but like the electrical is probably everywhere. Anyways, but you know, maybe the the circumstances are worth the risk. Like if I'm stuck in a room that where there's a fire, yeah, I'm gonna break down a wall.

SPEAKER_01

And immediately get electrocuted so I don't have to die through fire.

SPEAKER_00

Or what if I got like kidnapped?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So, anyways, do you have any hot tips? Either doing the kidnapping or escaping from the kidnapping? I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, I do. Can you pause? Thank you. Jeez.

SPEAKER_01

Um, actually, I'm gonna have to Google that really quick.

SPEAKER_00

You don't have your phone because your phone's recording this video. Um anyways, so if you're trapped in a room, maybe hitting the wire isn't your biggest concern.

SPEAKER_01

No, so probably not.

SPEAKER_00

Um again, so I'm in no way saying this tip will save your life or you should do this in the event of a fire, but that's good knowledge to have. Like you just break a hole in that wall and then like slither through.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Like a snake. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I've also heard in fires you can use a mattress to like block the fire. Like if you have to go through like an area, like there's no other exit besides like where the fire is at. You can use a mattress to kind of block some of the heat.

SPEAKER_00

So I have don't know if that's true, but uh probably because mattresses are pretty dense, but I actually was thinking about mattresses today. Um not for any particular reason, like not like there's like a world war going on, and like, you know, what do you do in the event of a like bombing nuclear fallout? Yeah, fallout, whatever it's called. And I thought, I think I've heard that like you're supposed to get in the bathtub and put a mattress over top, and I was like, there's absolutely no way that any mattress in my house I'm gonna be able to like lift, lift and get to the a bathtub.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I know. Ours is ours is uh we have a purple mattress and Sucker is that dance.

SPEAKER_00

That thing lives in our room now. Yeah. So I don't know what you're gonna do there.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Anyways.

SPEAKER_01

Not survive though. That's not the plan. Not surviving.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Um, the one last thing about this hot tip about breaking the drywall. Um, one funny comment underneath it was not me punching through a load-bearing wall and collapsing my house. Like the cool we're not knocking down the the two before. No. Two before.

SPEAKER_01

Two before.

SPEAKER_00

We are just knocking down that drywall. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I don't know though, because like, hold on, timeout. How what if you break through a wall, but you can't fit through the two by four?

SPEAKER_00

That's none of my business.

SPEAKER_01

Like, well, now I can see the fire at least.

SPEAKER_00

No, now you can stick at least your head through and get fresh air.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Which I'd love to tell you a Simpsons reference right now, but apparently you don't know it.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

That's when Homer gains a bunch of weight so that he can work from home and then he ends up saving everybody. No? Okay. All right. Uh, next hot tip.

SPEAKER_01

Don't be mad at me. I'll watch The Simpsons as soon as I finish watching Dexter.

SPEAKER_00

So never. Later teenager?

SPEAKER_01

I guess. It's gonna be a freaking grandpa, later grandpa.

SPEAKER_00

Later grandpa. It'll hey guess what? Simpsons will still be running, so you'll just be even more behind.

SPEAKER_01

Probably, but could they like speed up their premonitions, please?

SPEAKER_00

They're only 20 minutes long, too. So you can really like hammer through a few a day. If you just quit your job. All right.

SPEAKER_01

Again, this is a message to our boss. I'm gonna be a pop star and watch the Simpsons all day.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if he listens.

SPEAKER_01

He doesn't. He's not a podcast curly.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's what he says. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Or he listens and he's like, I can't listen to these bitches anymore. I hear enough from these assholes every day.

SPEAKER_00

We're so good. Um all right. Private label grocery store products. So do you ever see those like private label? And private labels like pretty, I guess, specific to Smith's, but like any of like the name, like the private name.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So those one, those brands are often made by the same companies that make the name brand. So just same factory, same quality. We just put a different sticker on it. Just just buy it. That's fine. Just buy it, yeah. Yeah. Flashlight trick. So if you ever drop something tiny, if you hold your flashlight, like from your phone or whatever, parallel to the floor, the side lighting will um make objects way easier to see, like little tiny objects. Oh, yeah. But I also just think even just getting down and like looking at that.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes you just gotta lay on the floor.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and cry.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I've seen that thing where people put like a a nylon or like a pantyhose over like a vacuum and like oh that's a great try to like suck up, like if you lose like an earring or something.

SPEAKER_00

Which I have lost an earring recently, and I'm like, where did it go?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Where did it that's so annoying to me?

SPEAKER_01

I don't wear earrings really consistently. It bugs my ears.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if I'm like allergic to certain metals or what, but like okay, so this is not a hot tip that I had written down, but hot tip for that is if you so if you do have like sensitivity to earrings, I mean you just need to be buying like good earrings. Yeah. But hey, sometimes we're wearing uh Claire's icing. You got earrings, yeah. Um, but if you dip the post in aquifore or like rub some aquifer on it and then put it through your ear, I feel like that helps a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

So I have I have very sensitive ears, and once I get past past that initial sensitivity, like I can wear those earrings forever. But then I'll go through phases where I don't wear earrings and then I go to put them in and then it's itchy and swollen and gross.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because you almost have to like repierce your ear.

SPEAKER_00

Not even re-pierce. I think my those those piercings are pretty established. It's just they just get irritated again. But okay. Next hot tip Hotel remote controllers, like the TV controllers, are one of the dirtiest objects in the room. People clean the bathrooms thoroughly, but remotes are rarely get wiped. So, like use a wipe or put it in a plastic bag if you're a germaphobe. Huh? I'm also not bringing a bag to put the remote in. I'll just wipe it down. Yeah, I'm just or I'll just raw dog it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'll just raw dog it. I mean, there are worse things in life. Also who can be traveling right now?

SPEAKER_00

Oh I thought you were gonna say that nasty woman that talked about the coffee maker in the hotel room. Did you see those videos? No, there was some insane woman. I think she had a following online, but she was like hot tip at the the hotel. Like, if you run out of underwear, put your underwear in the hotel coffee maker. Gross. But guess what? That bitch is getting sued by the hotel.

SPEAKER_02

Good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because people figured out which hotel they were staying at, yeah. Or she was staying at, and then like a ton of people complain, and they're like, You owe us some money, lady.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So don't be disgusting. Also, just don't use the coffee makers. There's free coffee down in the lobby.

SPEAKER_01

They never give me enough creamer, anyways. Yeah. And like the coffee cups they have are this big. I I need as we've established before, I drank probably a lot of.

SPEAKER_00

The other day, Ashley told me she drank 52 ounces of coffee and we were at lunch, and I was like, Excuse me?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I got a diet coke too. Yeah, it's like, I mean, listen, it's just like poking your brain with a stick anymore. Like I'm just trying to get it to do something, you know?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Arguably the hardest time it's ever been out there for a pimp.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it really is. There ain't no way that there's$20 worth of shit in that box.

SPEAKER_00

No, there's no way.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Let's move on to some social tricks. Okay. And I don't know if I've ever used this, but I will start using it. So interrupting someone who won't stop talking. Too bad you didn't know about this trick in our last podcast. First. Yeah. Which hopefully your podcast before this. We're gonna do it, we're gonna have to do that. Um so if someone is just talking too much and you're just like, I don't know how to get out of this, drop something. So keys, pen, phone. And when you band down to pick it up, then you start talking because the minute you bend down, they stop talking. Oh and then you come up and you're talking.

SPEAKER_01

Somebody can get her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, no, I don't think that would be the way to interrupt. Um, but you do, you boo.

SPEAKER_01

Listen, I'm always dropping it low.

SPEAKER_00

I initially heard I'm always dropping a load, and I was like, okay, make sure to turn that valve on the toilet.

SPEAKER_01

Gotta be healthy, you know? Keeping it healthy.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but then the the the only problem with this is like then the person you're talking to is gonna be like frickin' butterfingers over here won't drop, stop dropping their keys.

SPEAKER_01

That's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_00

So in that case, you just stop, drop, and roll out of that conversation.

SPEAKER_01

This is a lot to do with fire. You really while you're on fire, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay. Another social thing. If someone is following you, and this is especially true for women, and I think hopefully this is very widely known, you do not owe strangers politeness. No. Nope, nope, nope, nope. So if you think someone's following you across the street, ignore them, close the door, your safety is greater than their feelings.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, and also if you're in a car and you think someone's following you, four left turns. Yep. Left turns are the hardest turn to make. And if you do four of them, you've gone in a circle.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. And if someone's still following you, they're following you.

SPEAKER_01

And then you lock your doors, you call, dispatch while you are driving to the police station.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01

You don't pull over, you call them and say, Hey, I think someone's following me, and you drive to the police station. When you get to the police station, you don't then get out of your car.

SPEAKER_00

No, you stay in your car with a car with it locked until someone comes out.

SPEAKER_01

Until somebody comes out.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. I like it. Yep. Okay, walking at night. If someone approaches you and something fills off, which I feel like that'll be everything, keep walking. Do not stop. Keep walking. Um, and I will say, like, back to like we don't owe strangers our politeness. I do have like uh I struggle with that. Because I'm always like, oh, I just want to be nice, but I need to get over that. Um, so like if someone random tries to talk to me, oftentimes I'll kind of stop in order to hurt their feelings, but not after not after hearing this. You just keep moving. And if they want to keep talking to you, just keep walking.

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

So the people are looking, people looking for trouble often give up if you're not an easy target. So if I just keep walking, they'll hopefully eventually just piss off.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Also try to be a girl's girl if you can. And if you always be like somebody who feels like you can tell they're uncomfortable because you can tell. Pretend to be their sister, their wife, they're you know, like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy to see you. Oh, it's so great to see you again. Or like, oh you're finally here. Oh, yeah, your husband was just parking the car. Like, I'm so glad to see. Like, you know.

SPEAKER_00

I hope I someday get to have that opportunity to like help someone.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But knowing me, I'll probably try and intervene and they'll be like, What are you talking about? And be like, I, you know, I thought I thought you were in trouble. And that's the classic thing me and my sister always say, don't get involved.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. But also, it's better to overreact than underreact. Like, just be annoying. Get involved.

SPEAKER_00

Sorry, I thought this man was harassing you, and then she's like, This is my husband. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

He is.

SPEAKER_00

Get a new husband.

SPEAKER_01

He is harassing me.

SPEAKER_00

The vibes are off. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Also, funny story to tell later. So definitely do it.

SPEAKER_00

I will report back. I'm gonna do this in the next week.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, just start going to try to like interact with people.

SPEAKER_00

But like, we're having a nice meal. We were we were holding one.

SPEAKER_01

Like a out of like a restaurant. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, you're finally here. Our table's over here. What who are you?

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Next.

SPEAKER_01

Next on the pod, Christy's in her favorite hug jacket.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Christy no longer is with us. Um, okay. Emergency survival tips, which I feel like there are so many emergency and survival tips. I'll probably do one later on when we get closer to camping season because I'm a big camper. I love camping. But um, just like a couple, I don't know, just like the hot ones, I guess. The hot ones.

SPEAKER_01

The hot tips. Christy's hot tips. Isn't that what we said before?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we just need to make a clip, a sound, a soundbite.

SPEAKER_01

She got them hot tips.

SPEAKER_00

Oh. Cut, cut, cut.

SPEAKER_02

Hey. Hot.

SPEAKER_00

Enough of you. Okay. Anyways, have you heard of the rule of three for survival?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. So humans survive roughly three minutes without air.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Three hours without shelter, like in extreme conditions.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Three days without water. Okay. And three days with or three weeks without food. So most people assume that like if they get stranded somewhere, okay, like, oh my gosh, I gotta figure out my water situation. No, you gotta figure out your shelter situation. So, and we see that a lot. We um my family really likes the show alone. You've seen that?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh, we used to watch it so much, and we would all pick a person. Like us and our friends, our our really good friends, Devin and Becky. We would all pick a person and be like, this is my person, like this is my horse, and this person's gonna make it to the end. And then we would all like watch it.

SPEAKER_00

But typically, whoever figures out their shelter first does this stays on pretty long, versus the people that are like, I gotta figure out my water. But like, as a natural instinct, you would think, like, oh my gosh, I'm all of a sudden so thirsty, like, I gotta figure out how to drink water. No, you're fine, babe. Okay, you're fine. And you're also not eating any food, so you probably don't need any water either.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Um, next tip rip current. So for all you surfers, you surfers, you you beach, you beach swimmers. I want to be a beach swimmer on the regular, but I don't live near a beach. Don't fight it. So just like go limp and you should just like rise to the top.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

Unless it like sucks you down. And then the interrupts. I don't know what you're supposed to do there. So this is apparently a a partial tip.

SPEAKER_01

This is uh just the partial tip.

SPEAKER_00

This is just the tiny tip. Tiny tip.

SPEAKER_01

Little baby tip.

SPEAKER_00

No, just don't fight it. So if you fight it, I think that's what like draws you back into it more and more and more. Right. Um, and then if you float on your back and stay calm, um, which good luck, but just float, just try and float on your back. Um, that can kind of help you get out of it. And then also if you get like caught, like where you can't, you know, sometimes you'll go out in the ocean and you can't get back. Have you ever had that before? No. Like the current is keeping you away. Just swim parallel to the shore and eventually you'll be able to break through.

SPEAKER_01

I've heard that. Yeah. I thought that was for the rip current though. But I'm gonna be real honest, the ocean kind of freaks me out.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I love the ocean.

SPEAKER_01

It's beautiful. Love to look at it. I don't oh it's whatever's going on.

SPEAKER_00

You don't ragdoll you none of my business with no warning. She is but I love it when you get past that that like uh whatever it's called where the waves like break and crash. I love it when you get behind that because then you can just like ride the waves.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's my favorite. That's cool.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Next tip for all of you submerged in your car in the water. This one I thought was really good. Okay. So you know, you just uh pull out your headrest and you got those prongs. Break that window, baby. Yep. Yep. Okay, so you knew that. First thing, but they also sell the seatbelt cutters that have the window breaker thing in them. Oh, I don't have that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm also not ever driving by water.

SPEAKER_01

Me either.

SPEAKER_00

So any of you driving by water, that's probably a good thing to get in your car. Yeah. In our in our case, we probably just need like protein bars and a blanket and some water.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Next one, lost in the wilderness. The best thing you can do is stop, sit, think. So most people get lost worse because they panic and keep moving. But if you are the one that is lost, the best thing you can do for the best thing you can do when people are looking for you is just to stay in one location.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I remember that as a kid, like going camping and my mom being like, if you get lost, just hug a tree. Nah. Oh, I love that. Yeah, sweet. So you just hug a tree because that keeps you stop and you're thinking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And also just grounded to nature, you're not as panicked.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Oh, touch a tree, guys. Touch a tree, touch grass, touch dirt.

SPEAKER_01

I've also heard to find water. Water typically runs down. Yeah. So you can always end up going down. Yeah. I don't know if that's I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Again, but don't drink the water because then you'll get like diarrhea.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then the last survival thing, you're camping, you get stuck somewhere. Corn tortilla chips can start fires. So they are oily and they will burn like a candle. That's cool. Yeah. Which raises the uncomfortable question of why are we eating them? Um and to which I reply, can't stop, won't stop.

SPEAKER_01

Survival often.

SPEAKER_00

If I'm camping, I have tortilla chips. Yeah. Especially those Juanitas, Juanitas, the red bags.

SPEAKER_01

I yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Those are bomb.com.

SPEAKER_01

Have you had the seasoned ones?

SPEAKER_00

The lightly seasoned. Oh. Those are not lightly seasoned at all. They're so good. No, there's a different one. I used to love those, but now I love the Juanitas. Oh. They're a red bag.

SPEAKER_01

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. And then now here we are moving on to just random, useful things that people should know.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Never mix cleaning products. Never. Do you know that?

SPEAKER_01

Ever mix cleaning products. Yes, I do know that.

SPEAKER_00

So never, and it's mainly bleach. Don't ever mix anything with bleach. So don't mix ammonia with bleach. Don't mix vinegar with bleach. Um bleach is a strong oxidizer, so it's just breaking up the molecules that it's encountering. Um, and if you mix it with pretty much, well, with most things, it's gonna create a toxic gas. So don't do that. Don't do that. But like a common place where those two things would interact is I I love Clorox cleanup, the bleach. And then it's like, so okay, so I'm cleaning my sinks, cleaning my bathtub, shower, whatever. Well, now I gotta wipe my my glass shower doors so you get out your ammonia or yeah, or vinegar if you're using a vinegar girl.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

There you go, there's your toxic gas. So don't do that.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and it's just like, come on, we're just trying to get clean, a clean house. We're not trying to make a chemical weapon. But if you've ever accidentally done that, like it is powerful. I've I've done it before where I've like kind of just not thought about the fact that I'd like just cleaned the shower floor with bleach and then I was like cleaning the glass and it was yeah, and it hits you, and you're like, oh, I gotta get out of here. Yeah, so um, but I will say, so moral story overall, try not to uh mix anything with bleach. But I will say my favorite cleaner is something mixed with bleach.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So this is another Christy hot tip.

SPEAKER_01

Christy's hot it's not mine now.

SPEAKER_00

I'm not claiming this. Um, so during COVID, I started following this Canadian woman who owned a home cleaning company, Go Clinco.

SPEAKER_02

Go Clean Go.

SPEAKER_00

Do you know Go Clean Go?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, she's phenomenal. So she's super smart. Um, and she just is very um knowledgeable about all the cleaning products and what to use them on and where to use them and all that stuff. But her hottest cleaning tip is, and I'm sure I've told you this before hot water, bleach, and powdered tide. So you mix those three together and in the ratios that your heart feels good about, and then you just go around and wipe everything in your house, and it just it cuts through all the dirt, all the grease, and it leaves your house smelling so good. So I clean everything with it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But I mean, that makes more sense to me because like bleach and laundry, you know, like that makes more sense to me than like two different chemicals. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

No, yeah. I really only use Clorox cleanup and powder tied. Gotcha. And like toilet bowl cleaner. Yeah, and glass cleaner. I use all the cleaners.

SPEAKER_01

Also, like a bomb.

SPEAKER_00

Also, chemicals. Okay, blood stains. What do you use to get a bloodstain out?

SPEAKER_01

Hydrogen peroxide.

SPEAKER_00

I okay let me rephrase hot or cold water?

SPEAKER_01

Cold water.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, cold water because hot water will set it.

SPEAKER_01

Um and I think that men right now are like, that's so creepy. Why would she know that? Listen, friends. Okay, women deal with blood on the regular.

SPEAKER_00

You don't want to know how much we're dealing with blood. We are dealing with blood so much more than you know, but also just like I don't know, like my kids get bloody noses quite often in the nights, so we are like cleaning that type of stuff. So it's always cold water to get that that blood out. Um, and then also, this is another interesting one for blood, is your spit.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So our spit has enzymes that break things down. Yeah. Um, as we will learned in school. And so if you're out and about, you get blood on something, you know, the playground. I don't have cold water to wash it out, just spit on it, and the spit will break down the the proteins in your blood and hopefully prevent them from um binding to your clothes. Yeah. So that was like an old seamstress queen hot tip. That's really cool. Because you know, they're like poking their fingers sometimes and getting it on the things and they would spit on it and then they could wash it right out.

SPEAKER_01

Is that why when it's just like an instinct to put something in your mouth when you hurt it when you hurt yourself?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

You know, because like you hurt your finger or something and immediately it goes in your mouth.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, not me. Oh that's gross.

SPEAKER_01

Not me, me for sure.

SPEAKER_00

But ever a lot of people do that. Like, you know, you cut your finger a little bit and then like you put uh no, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. I mean I'm like out, and you know, like oh, I think I just don't like the taste of blood. Oh. Maybe it's like an animal thing too, because like your animals lick their wounds. Like, I don't know. Yeah, maybe I'm more of an animal, not a jigsaw.

SPEAKER_00

You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals.

SPEAKER_01

Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, highway numbers. Do you know the cool thing about highway numbers?

SPEAKER_01

East and west is something. I know there's a thing, and I know it's really important for survival also because of being kidnapped. Yeah. I wasn't kidnapped, but like I know that I listen to a lot of true crime.

SPEAKER_00

Eve number highways, they run east and west. So E for the E in east and west. Because north and south don't have ease. So east and west, ease.

SPEAKER_01

And come back for more alphabet.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe that's well known, but I think maybe I just made that up. Not like the not the that's always a thing, but then odd numbers run north and south, O for the O's and north and south. Tell me I didn't make that up.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if you're that's pretty good though. Yeah, I like it.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I let me just make it very clear. Like, odd numbers are always north and south, even numbers are always east and west. But did I come up with the E for the E in east and west and O for the O in north and south? Maybe. Prove me wrong.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. You look really excited about it, so I don't want anybody to burst your bubble. Don't try to come into our comments and say something about Christy. I'll thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Let Christy have this one. Okay. This one's like a little bit controversial. So like if you're like sensey, like maybe walk away.

SPEAKER_01

Hold your pearls. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00

Puerto Ricans are US citizens.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, I'm just coming from the Super Bowl where a lot of people did not realize that someone from Puerto Rico is a US citizen. I mean check yourself before you wreck yourself.

SPEAKER_01

At this point they probably don't want to be, which like valid.

SPEAKER_00

No, they no, it's good. But yep, look. Sure, Jan. Okay. Then we're gonna do some some rapid fires. Just things that random things. These are not hot tips. Just random things that people don't know. These are random tips. I guess those last couple, the highway numbers and the Puerto Ricans were also just random no's not tips. Yeah. Well, I gave you the tip about like how to remember the mnemonic that you made up. That I made up. I'm gonna be rich. And I'm gonna be a pop star.

SPEAKER_01

Somebody come eater.

SPEAKER_00

We're in troubles. Okay. What is grenadine made from?

SPEAKER_01

Cherries?

SPEAKER_00

No, that's the common misconception. It's pomegranate.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, girl.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

At a four-way stop, who goes first?

SPEAKER_01

The person who arrived first.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. If I appro I have so many four-way stops around my house. So many. And it bothers me to no end when I know that I got there second. Because I can I can tell that I'm gonna get there at the same time as a car. So I will purposely either speed up so I'm there first or slow down so I'm there second. And probably seven out of ten times the other person will be like, nah, babe, you go first. No, don't do that.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_00

In driving, we are following the rules. No, in driving, we are being uh predictable. We're not being polite.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay. Ponies. Are they baby horses or small horses?

SPEAKER_01

Small horses.

SPEAKER_00

They are. I don't know what I thought there.

SPEAKER_01

Little Sebastian.

SPEAKER_00

What?

SPEAKER_01

Lil Sebastian from Parson Rec.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

No, what? You've never seen Parson Wreck?

SPEAKER_00

I have not watched all of them. So you can judge me for that since you've never watched The Simpsons in full.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Did I just tuck my hair up on that mic?

SPEAKER_01

It looked real good. I liked it.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. What does RSVP mean?

SPEAKER_01

Really sweet Jesus. Yep. Okay. Next. I don't know. Nobody ever does it unless they're actually gonna go. I have some RSVP. That's a problem. I have some RSVP trauma trend.

SPEAKER_00

So RSVP is a French term, and I'm not gonna even pretend to say the R part, but it's si vous ple, which means please. So but the the R is respond, please. Respond, please. So that doesn't mean if you're not if you're not coming, you don't have to reply. It means just respond. Just say yes, just say no.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Chicken or beef. Tell me.

SPEAKER_00

Tell tell me your hard hard thing.

SPEAKER_01

Tell me. I just one time I was helping with an event, and we needed an exact count for food orders by a certain date, and we had put out a whole list of like invitations for these people to RSVP. And then they didn't, and I had to like harass people up to the very last minute, and it was awful.

SPEAKER_00

And you're like, listen, I have better things to do than ask you for this. You know what we should start doing is being like, hey, RSVP for your ticket to get in.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm having a I'm having a shower at my house. You better RSVP to get a ticket to get in. Because if you if you knock on my door and don't have a ticket, bye. I will steal the gift out of your hand, but then you gone.

SPEAKER_01

You drop and go like Amazon.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, drop and go.

SPEAKER_01

I yeah, I just I don't know. But now I'm like very conscious about making sure that if I'm asked RSVP, I do RSVP.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Because I was, I I'll admit, I was one of those people that's like, I'm not fucking going to that. Yeah. So I don't have to RSVP. No.

SPEAKER_00

You got RSVP? Yeah. Okay. Is it yin yang or yin yang?

SPEAKER_01

Yin yang.

SPEAKER_00

There you go. Yay!

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Brushes on escalators. Do you know the little brushes along the bases of escalators? Yeah. What are they there for?

SPEAKER_01

Wipe off like the rocks and stuff?

SPEAKER_00

No. No. They're there so you don't freaking get sucked into the edges.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. Oh, like on the sides. Oh, okay. Okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_01

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00

Cows have best friends.

SPEAKER_01

Cows? Yeah. Have best friends?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Studies show that cows get stressed when separated from their preferred herdmates. Cows are just cool.

SPEAKER_01

Cows are cool.

SPEAKER_00

Except I think they're delicious. They are delicious. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. We've reached the end. Okay. And we're gonna be in our last segment of life hack or life crap.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So you gotta say life hack or life crap.

SPEAKER_01

Life hack or life crap.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. Okay. Putting wooden spoons over a boiling pot will stop the water from boiling over.

SPEAKER_01

That shit is crap.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's life crap. No, it's a life hack. It works.

SPEAKER_01

It sure doesn't, Dan. It does. I've boiled over many a pot to tell you my wooden spoons ain't doing shit.

SPEAKER_00

Girl, your liquid's too high.

SPEAKER_01

Your liquid's too high.

SPEAKER_00

If your liquid is one inch from the top, you need a bigger pot, man.

SPEAKER_01

Girl inches or boy inches?

SPEAKER_00

I think I okay. So I'll say this. I think it generally more works with just water. So if you're boiling um like noodles or something, and so like the the steam and everything is water vapor, I think it works. It a hundred percent works. But maybe if you're boiling like chili or something, it's not gonna stop those beans from going over.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's I've always boiled it over with water. It doesn't work.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, next time I want you to take a picture of my pot. Yeah. No, but I've seen it like it it disperses the steam, which then like pushes it back down.

SPEAKER_01

Oh well then maybe my wooden spoons aren't really wooden spoons.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, the wood pops the bubbles and absorbs some moisture. Oh, and it says it's only temporary. So maybe that's your problem is you like you like put it on your stove and you're like 30 minutes, I'm gonna go for a walk. And then you come home. You come home and your house is burned down and there's holes in all your drywall.

SPEAKER_01

Somebody's trying to get out.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, someone is trying to get out.

SPEAKER_01

Damn it. Stupid woody spoon. I got this hack from Christy.

SPEAKER_00

No, you didn't. I didn't say to do that.

SPEAKER_01

No, uh a thing when I'm cooking that we always laugh about is you know, I'm cooking noodles when you hear me from the other room go shh shh shh shh shh as I'm running because the water's boiling over. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, well let's keep in the this let's keep in the spirit of uh pasta. You can tell spaghetti is done by throwing it at the wall. Correct. According to chat bestie, that's a life crap.

SPEAKER_01

No, that is a life hack.

SPEAKER_00

It's sticky means the starch is sticky, not that it's cooked properly.

SPEAKER_01

Chat bestie, you're a liar.

SPEAKER_00

It's chat bestie.

SPEAKER_01

Are we are we fighting?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know, maybe.

SPEAKER_01

We'd be fighting.

SPEAKER_00

We'll find out.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. My I know mine's always done because it's boiled birthday. And mine's up for sure.

SPEAKER_00

She knows hers is done because it's just a pile of mush.

SPEAKER_01

There was one time though, me and Dayton were over at my parents' house when we were, like I was we were teenagers, um, and we were making pasta and we threw one on the ceiling, and I can't tell you how long it stayed there. Because my parents have balted ceilings.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no. Hey, you know what? That's what they get for not letting you watch The Simpsons. And when I go over there someday, I'm gonna do something.

SPEAKER_01

You're gonna be real mad, you're gonna come over an all-yellow face. Really give somebody a talking to with your blue hair.

SPEAKER_00

Going to. Homer? Okay. If you're choking alone, you can perform the heimlick maneuver on yourself using the back of a chair.

SPEAKER_01

Life hack.

SPEAKER_00

Life hack. Boop. Just do it. Also.

SPEAKER_01

Do it, lady.

SPEAKER_00

That's something that you'll learn on watching The Simpsons. Oh. Yeah. Okay. If your phone gets wet, putting it in rice will fix it. Crap. That is crap. Rice doesn't remove moisture effectively. Airflow or silica gel works better. But hey, putting in that rice sure makes you feel like you're doing something in a situation that is now completely out of your control. You already made the mistake by dropping your phone in water. I don't know. Blow it out, man. Yeah. Like an adult.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes you just gotta blow it out like an adult. And that is just the tip.

SPEAKER_00

And that is just the tip.

SPEAKER_01

We're 12-year-old boys.

SPEAKER_00

It's been a day. Okay. Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis.

SPEAKER_01

Crap.

SPEAKER_00

Life crap. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Life crap.

SPEAKER_00

But it does annoy everyone around you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Drinking alcohol warms your body in cold weather. Is that a life hack or a life crap?

SPEAKER_01

I want to say it's a life crap.

SPEAKER_00

It is. It actually lowers your core body temperature. But you feel warmer because you're having a better time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Because it like thins your blood out, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Thins it.

SPEAKER_00

Or it just dilates your veins.

SPEAKER_01

Dilates your veins, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Putting your phone on airplane mode charges it faster. I never heard this.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's crap.

SPEAKER_00

It's a life hack-ish.

SPEAKER_01

Ish.

SPEAKER_00

Because it uh it just stops background things from coming in. So if you're just getting a ton of um like notifications from everybody, all right. Everybody, like you'll get like some extra charge there. So it's a life hackish. Okay, this one is funny. If a shark is approaching you, as one does, you punch it in the nose.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Life hack. I lost 50 first dates, I know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's a it's a it's a mostly true life hack. Okay. The snout and gills are sensitive areas, though obviously this is a last ditch survival method. Yeah. So but you gotta try everything. If you're if you're if you have a shark approaching you, like step number one, don't go on the ocean.

SPEAKER_01

No, whatever's in there, none of your business.

SPEAKER_00

Ocean is therapy, it is it's beautiful. Have you heard of like salt therapy? It's either tears, sweat, or the ocean.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I love that. I haven't heard that. Yeah, I will say when I was on my honeymoon long ago, you punched a shark? No, but there was a little, we have a video of it. There was a little baby hammerhead that was swimming in between everybody's legs. And I kept thinking, listen, if there's a baby hammerhead, there's probably a mommy hammerhead around here somewhere. And I am not interested in finding out where that is.

SPEAKER_00

And even a baby hammerhead still has ferocious teeth. Yeah. And jaw straight.

SPEAKER_01

It was probably maybe only like I don't care. Yeah. It um I think it might have been hurt though, because it kept like it would swim between people's legs, but it also kept like Was it too heavy on one side? Maybe was it lopsided or alternatively, we could think positively and it was hitting the ground to make all the little things come up sweetem. Oh maybe that's a thing too. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, Google's free.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, Google's free.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Don't tell your spouse that though, because they get real mad. Hi, honey. I love you.

SPEAKER_00

Ashley's actually currently staying with me. Yeah. I'm a Gemini problem.

unknown

How can I help you?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, shut up. Don't worry. Help, Gemini. Mind your own business. Still listening.

SPEAKER_00

My my office, Gemini, just hurt us.

SPEAKER_01

Stay in your lane. Stop trying to mansplain me things.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, it stopped. Okay, last one. You swallow eight spiders a year in your sleep. Crap. That is a life crap. Life crap. And this myth started from a magazine article about how easily misinformation spreads, which I don't know how true that is. We have two more. Mosquitoes are attracted to people with sweeter blood.

SPEAKER_01

Nah, crap.

SPEAKER_00

That is a life crap. They're attracted to attractive people.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, really? That makes sense. Because I'm always getting eaten a lot.

SPEAKER_00

No, they are attracted to carbon dioxide and body heat. Yeah. So I don't get I feel like I haven't really been getting mosquito bites lately, and probably because I'm always cold.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, maybe.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, this is the last one. And this is a little bit controversial.

SPEAKER_01

What? Like Christie controversial or actually controversial?

SPEAKER_00

I think it's actual.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

You're driving on the highway and the lane ahead is gonna close. When do you merge?

SPEAKER_01

It's a zipper. It's a zipper. Can you merge as soon as you can? Like, like no.

SPEAKER_00

It's not as soon as you can. They put those signs out so you can start preparing for the fact that you're all gonna be merging, but the proper place to zipper merge is at the zipper merge. At where the lane is closing instead of two miles prior, and then we get a backlog of three miles, four miles, five miles. No, babe, babes, we are merging at the closure. Babes. And we are zipper merging there. And we are not, we are not in the lane that is gonna proceed. We're not in that lane and then veering over so that nobody can get past us.

SPEAKER_01

Um with the very heavy disclaimer, unless you live in Utah.

SPEAKER_00

Unless I should have, I meant to like look this up to see if this is like a Utah phenomenon of people like fiercely feeling like the minute you see road closed ahead, meaning, oh my god, I gotta get over it right now. Babes, no, stop it.

SPEAKER_01

But listen, um, I think it's trauma. It's a trauma response because we're always under construction. Like there's always road construction. Like, have you heard the thing that our state bird is literally like one of those construction cones? No, is it really?

SPEAKER_00

It should be.

SPEAKER_01

I mean I know it's not, but like, yeah, I have not heard that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I just, guys.

SPEAKER_01

We're just all tra we're just all traumat, like traumatized from road construction.

SPEAKER_00

The only reason why those people that are driving up the very empty way look like a holes is because all of you guys are dumb. And you're also all the people that are probably getting to the four-way stop first and then being like, No, no, go ahead. You were here 10 seconds after me, but maybe you should go first. The number of messages I send at my sister to complain about this exact thing, hundreds.

SPEAKER_01

Here, you know what? Just stop stopping at stop signs. I'm going to back. You just don't go through that shit.

SPEAKER_00

You guys don't even care. Anyways, so stop it. Get your lives together, learn about a zipper merge, and let's all just be happier. It's it is, it's not like the zipper merge doesn't impede traffic at all. It does, but statistically, it doesn't impede it as much as all of you people that decide that you have to merge over two miles prior to the closure. I'm gonna cut all of this.

SPEAKER_01

Deep breaths.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry, I'm teaching a teenager how to drive right now, and I'm like, hey, listen, you're really going through it. Listen, when there is a merge, you go all the way to the front of the line, babe.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because everybody else is dumb.

SPEAKER_01

But I will say, with the caveat of like, if there is an open spot, get over. No. Like, yeah, like if you're you like try to go two miles prior, it be so for real right now.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

This is the last pod. I'm just saying she hasn't watched The Simpsons, she doesn't believe in a zipper merge.

SPEAKER_01

It's not that I don't believe in a zipper merge, but I just mean like don't wait until it starts to back up. Like if you're going and you do see an opportunity to get over, get over. Maybe. Because especially in this state, there are going to be people who will not let you over. Oh, yeah. So if you're going, like you can stay in that lane, but if you see an opportunity, get over.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay. I will because I'll acknowledge that.

SPEAKER_01

Because, like, otherwise, then you are just sitting there with your freaking blinker on and everybody's giving you dirty looks as they pass you because they're like, F you, I wanted to.

SPEAKER_00

Guess what else I'll do?

SPEAKER_01

What?

SPEAKER_00

If I'm in the lane that is going through, and a bunch of people come up like pretty last minute, even more last minute than me. Guess who's getting in? All of them. All of them, all it in two, all it in three.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because I feel you. You good. You good girl.

SPEAKER_01

Me behind you, horn the entire time. I don't care. Public shaming. Let's bring public shaming back. That's what we need. More public. I'm the public shame you for it.

SPEAKER_00

Zipper merge.

SPEAKER_01

Zipper merge. But also get over as soon as you can. That's my advice.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, let's zipper merge out of this.

SPEAKER_01

Let's zipper merge out of this.

SPEAKER_00

Two miles ago. Two miles ago. Let's finish this podcast. Okay. Well, we are two brains, one bot.

SPEAKER_01

Stay human.

SPEAKER_00

Stay curious.

SPEAKER_01

And don't let the robots win.

SPEAKER_00

Nice.

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