SPEAKER_01 0:20

What up everyone? Welcome back to the pod. I'm Ashley.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

I'm Christy.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

How are you, friend?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Fine.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Fine. Okay. Just fine. Yep. It's that Mercury retrograde, huh? It's really been a rough one.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Yeah. Yeah. Guess what? What? I got a puzzle book. And I'm loving it. Okay. My friend had a puzzle book a couple weeks ago, and I was like, hmm, that sounds like a great idea. So I bought it, and it's like one of those logic puzzle books. Have you ever seen that?

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Like, you know, like where it has like the squares and you have to rule in, rule out.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

It is hard.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

So like we're having a great time. So it gives you like clues.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

So the one I bought is called Myrtle.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

So is it just like a it's just like it looks like a coloring book and you just do logic puzzles about it? Love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Yeah. But it's actually really hard and it's um quite humbling. Okay. It's a humbling experience to be like, what are you talking about? So me and my kids have been doing it, it's pretty fun. And then sometimes like they'll just whiz through it and I'll be like, wait, why why did you think that or why did you rule that person out? And then they go and explain it, and I'm like, uh that's so good for your brain though. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

So wow, I'm jelly. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

I'm disconnecting from the simulation.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

I need to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Via puzzle book. So get yourself a puzzle book. It was fun. I do wish it was um like all sorts of different kinds of puzzles. That's I didn't I just got it because it was very highly rated. I didn't really put even two cents, two seconds worth of looking at fists. So it's just like the same one. It's the same thing over and over.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Oh, okay. I wouldn't that that's not good for my HDHD.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Oh, well. It has like three different difficulties, and we made it through all the easy ones like pretty quick, and those were fine. The medium ones, I have no idea what's going on. Like there's something in the medium ones, I have no idea. And then the hard ones are a little bit better, like they're a they're sometimes manageable, but the mediums were just like, what is this?

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Wow. So I love that. I am a big crossword puzzle girly. Love crossword puzzles.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Get yourself a crossword puzzle book.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

I have one.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Well, my and my friend, she bought the puzzle book, and I don't know if I can't remember if she said she just wanted to finish the whole book in a year or over the summer. I want to say she said maybe over the summer. Yeah. So we were up camping and she was just like doing her little puzzle book, and it was so fun. And then um, you know, everybody around was like looking and they're like, hey, can can I have a can I have a turn? Yeah. Can we pass it? Yeah. And so that's how it started. So then we turned it into like hers was um word searches. And so then it turned into a whole game of how fast can we do this word search? And you only got to find one word and then you had to pass it.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

I love that. It was fun. I like that with crosswords because it's it's like you're doing it, but you can also like ask, like, what's a five-letter word for whatever. Yeah. I would do that on road trips with my with my husband because otherwise I will fall asleep in the car, and he hates when I do that.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Oh. Doesn't want you to be a passenger princess.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Well, I'm very much a passenger princess. It's just that like if we go, it was before we were we had kids, and so if we'd go on like a road trip together and he'd want to like spend time and talk and stuff, and I would just oops, goodbye. But you know, every other weekend when growing up, we would go up and get my other siblings from Idaho. So, um, so I'm just used to falling asleep in the car, like it just makes me tired.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

I know. It's great.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

So anyway, um, but yeah, good.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Sorry, that was a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

I love that. No, please tangent all the way. Um, as long as you keep your phone in your pocket.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

I threw my phone on the floor. It's it's over there.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

No, no correcting me.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Hey, watch midway through this, you're gonna look over. I'm gonna be in my puzzle book. Oh, I'm sorry, what'd you say?

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Oh, I'm sorry. I was uh in the middle of figuring this puzzle out.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Um, okay, before we get started, do you have any corrections or updates you want to make about our last episode?

SPEAKER_00 4:10

No.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

No.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

No.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

No. Okay. Sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Everything I said was perfect.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yeah, I agree. Um, we mentioned this last time, but I just wanted to mention again that uh so many people have told me that they loved the diarrhea episode. Yes, diarrhea. And I agree that it is truly one of our best. So thanks for the giggles.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Everybody Pooh's just funny.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

And there's just nothing about giggling through a national crisis as true millennials. Like, we're just so unserious now because we've been through so much.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

It's perfect.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Okay, well, um, if you don't have any other updates, let's get started. So the idea for today's episode came to me in a few different ways. The first being some of my online friends, so shout out to them, they're really wonderful. Also, they have requested swag from us, but I mentioned that Christy doesn't want any more clutter in the world. Oh, hell no. So if we did do any sort of swag, I think it'd just be stickers or something.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Oh yeah, stickers would be fine. That's actually what I'm gonna do when you leave here today is we're gonna be doing some uh some cleanup because we gotta figure out school's starting soon, we gotta figure out what we need. So we've got to clean out the old stuff.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

The bane of my existence is trying to figure out who's in what size and what we need and what we don't like.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

The worst.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

And they grow so fast that you're like, I just bought these for you last week. What do you mean they don't fit? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Like who And like remembering what you have.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

And then you miss a whole season of clothes.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Right. Well, and my kids are so close in age that it I can save one group of clothes for the other, but then I have tons of clothes for one kid and literally no clothes for the other.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Yeah. Well, and then sometimes I feel bad because I'm like, well, this kid always gets new clothes and this kid always gets the hand-me-downs. Yeah. But that kid never complains.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

That's your birth order. I'm sorry about it.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

It's made you funny. You know?

unknown 6:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

It builds character. But anyway, so if we do if we do swag that I need to send out some stickers to people. Okay. Um, so yeah. And then the second way that this idea came to me was through an Instagram reel, obviously. Because I'm chronically online, which I don't want to be, but it's just who I am at this point in my life.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

You gotta find the the cr the right balance. And yeah. Not that I know what that is, because I don't nobody knows.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

We're all like dependent on it in certain ways. Like there's there's some things you just can't do without being online. So but I came across a reel of this woman who was talking about her modern day witch trial. Okay, and I was like, This is great. Girly, hold my chalice.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Hold my chalice. Oh, your cup. Got it.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

So the woman owns a metaphysical shop in Pennsylvania called The Serpent's Key. Um, and they provide like witchy things, but they also have she also does tarot readings. It's like honestly my vibe. It's so my vibe. I want to go check it out.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Sorry, one quick break-in. Yeah. I saw online speaking of witchy, um, this girl that I know from high school. She, I don't know if she called it a witchy night, but one night like they made candles. Yeah. And I felt like it was witchy, and I was like, okay, yeah. Anyways, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

No, don't be sorry about that.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Let's build candles. Let's do it. Maybe that could be our swag. Candles.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

That sounds like a lot of work. I take that back. Take back. Got it.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Cut, cut, cut. But, anyways, so this woman in 2023 she almost got arrested for doing a tarot reading.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

In 2023 of our in the year of our Lord and Taylor Swift. Yeah. That's not how you say that. Yeah. It's close to it. Say it again.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

Yeah. How do I say it? In the year of our Lord Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah. 2026. Um, so this got my little witchy brain spinning because number one, how dare you?

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

And number two, is this really a thing? In the year of our Lord Taylor Swift 2026, can someone really get arrested for doing a tarot card reading? So, of course, I had to go digging into the legitimacy of this law and as well as other weird ass laws in the United States. So, let's talk about that one. So, since I mentioned it, um, yes, it's real. This this law in Pennsylvania is about 165 years old. Title 18, Section 7104 of the Pennsylvania Consolidated Statuses literally makes it a third-degree misdemeanor to tell fortunes for money. We're talking tarot cards, astrology, charms, the whole nine yards.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

So this ban has been chilling on the books since like 1861.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Um never gotten around to like getting getting it updated or just removed?

SPEAKER_01 8:54

I guess not. And apparently they have a lot of time on their hands because they just almost arrested this woman in in their the year of our Lord and Savior, Taylor Swift's internet. Wow. 2023 is when this happened. Um, so the actual rule is that you can't accept any cash or gifts or what the law calls gain or lucre to predict someone's future or pull some tarot cards.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

And like Which is so funny because nowadays, like, isn't the what do they call it? The oh, the prediction market, like it's all their age.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Oh yeah. Yeah, betting and it's not but if if it's women that are doing it and mystical spiritual things using our natural intuition, it's different. If it's men betting on other men doing dumb shit, then no. Yeah, starting wars. Yeah. Starting wars. Totally fine. Okay. Clearly, we we have our priorities straight in this country. Yeah. Because, you know. So as far as this specific witch trial is what she's calling it, um, where do things stand right now? So doing it for free is actually totally fine because the law specifically targets the money aspect. But there's, you know, a federal active lawsuit by this shop owner. Um, and she claims the ban is a violation of free speech, which so wait, so she got in trouble for doing it.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

She got she almost got arrested. Almost got arrested. Why though? I mean, like what sparred it? Because you know, there's always like the stupid laws that are on the book that they don't enforce. So why did they all of a sudden decide to enforce it?

SPEAKER_01 10:20

I think well, I I'm my assumptions, I don't know for sure. I know she's a queer person and she has a like a witchy shop in in Pennsylvania. I don't know how conservative Pennsylvania is in that area that she's in. Um, but she pissed off the right person. She must have pissed off the right person. Okay. Because she was doing tarot card readings for money.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

And part of the thing with these witchy shops is like a lot of times doing those types of readings and stuff is how they keep their shop afloat. Yeah. As well as like other cells, but like, you know, people go there for an experience and you know, you get over it. You they'll pay for that experience.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

All right. So she's saying now in 2026 that impedes her free speech. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Yes. And I I tend to agree. I do see a little bit of complication with it if someone is trying to like scam people. Yeah. I get sort of where that comes from. But also, like, there are other scams, like, there's yes, let's be so for real. There's other scams that like all the scams. Someone pulling a couple cards for you.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

This podcast is a scam.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yeah. Anyways, so if you'll give us your mother's maiden name and your options and care.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Just um give us some money.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Your first pet's name.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

We'll be your friend. We're charging for friendship.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

So the legal battle is still very much ongoing. Um, and as a tarot uh lover of tarot cards myself, I am rooting for her. I cannot believe that this is a legal thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

You can sell tarot card readings in you in Utah, can't you?

SPEAKER_01 11:57

I would assume so. Okay. Yeah. I just do them for free. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

You should sell them. I should just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Maybe. I don't know. And then, anyways. So since we were on the East Coast in Pennsylvania already, let's make our way down to Georgia.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Did the devil go down to Georgia? Did you want me to say that?

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Maybe, but uh, we're gonna be in Gainesville and it has nothing to do with tarot card readings or anything. We're gonna talk about some of the crazy laws. And this one I'm calling keep your forks off my chicken. Okay. Down in Gainesville, Georgia, trying to enjoy some fried chicken with a fork or knife is actually against the law.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Oh, because they want you to use your little fingers, you gotta use your hands.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

So this gem of a roll, Gainesville City Ordinance 311, to be exact, has been around since 1961. It started as a total PR stunt because Gainesville calls itself the poultry capital of the world.

unknown 12:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Local officials decided fried chicken was way too special to be poked by cold and unfeeling silver bear.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Why?

SPEAKER_01 13:01

People have too much time on their hands. Oh, for sure. But also, I'm I've never been to Gainesville, Georgia. So y'all tell me if the the chicken down there is really worth getting your fingers on.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

I'm I'm hungry right now.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah, me too. So while it's mostly a joke, they still use it for clout. And back in 2009, a 91-year-old visitor was arrested by the police chief for using a fork. Oh. But don't worry, the mayor gave her a quick pardon.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

That's so funny. I wonder if they have like like signs up everywhere and like if it's just like the whole, like it's like the whole vibe when you go down there.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Probably. Someone tell us if you're from Georgia, please tell us because that's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

No, that's funny.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

I don't think you're ready for this next one.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

We're gonna wander our way over to Alabama.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Did the devil go to Alabama?

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

If you find yourself in Alabama and you're in need of something to wrestle, make sure it's not a bear.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Okay. Doe.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Oh, darn. Under Alabama Code section 13A-12-5, unlawful bear exploitation is a class B felony.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Oh, jeez.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

It explicitly bans promoting, engaging in, or training a bear for a wrestling match. Before we move on, tell me your thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Why? Was it a big problem? I mean, why? I'll tell you why. Anyways, yeah, I I I'm at a loss for words. I'm like, why? Bears are bears are so scary to me. I and I mean I've never encountered a bear knock on wood and listen. Don't plan to, but it is always a fear. Like if I'm walking outside in nature, I'm like, what would I do right now if I encountered a bear and I will plan my escape routes?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Tell me, Christy.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Man or bear?

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Oh, bear.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Okay. So this whole thing actually started because of a specific 1980s bar act starring terrible Ted. Terrible Ted was a 500-pound grizzly bear that had been declawed. Some guy, emphasis on some guy.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Okay, and I wanted to say something about declawing in a minute.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Okay. Was touring all around Alabama bars charging people five bucks to pop five bucks a pop just to wrestle with Ted.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

So apparently drunk people 500 pound bear, is that what you said? Or did I make that up?

SPEAKER_01 15:34

500 pound grizzly bear.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

He's been declawed, so yeah, but he's still 500 pounds of like pretty much pure muscle. Oh my I know. What were you gonna say about declawing? Um, I hadn't really thought about like you hear about cats being declawed, but not anymore because it's you know not great. And I'd always heard it's not humane and you know it makes sense because if they're going outside, you gotta they need something to protect themselves. Right. Um but what I didn't really think about ever, and somebody just barely said it to me, is that they essentially just cut off their fingertips, like if they their paw tip. Yeah. Well, I don't know what it's called.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

The other fingertips. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

But I wasn't thinking that. I was just kind of thinking it was the the claw that comes out, but it's like, yeah, that's think about declawing a human, that would just be like their total fingertips. So, anyways, that's mean.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

It is mean.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

I'm glad there's that law.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

I want to meet the person who declawed a b uh 500-pound grizzly bear. Do you think he was lunch? Who had the balls, first of all? I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Who had that much animal tranquilizer?

SPEAKER_01 16:44

I guess, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

And what year was this?

SPEAKER_00 16:49

When did this occur?

SPEAKER_01 16:51

The 1980s. It was the 80s.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

I love it's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

It's the 80s.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

I'm not mad about it.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Drunk people are gonna want to wrestle a bear every once in a while. In Alabama, anyways.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

I like it.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Can you tell me how long do you think this lasted?

SPEAKER_00 17:07

The law?

SPEAKER_01 17:09

No, that's so this. This traveling circus. This traveling act of this guy taken around four years before anybody did anything.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Four years.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Sixteen. Wow! By 1996, the animal welfare community was rightfully outraged and they forced the Alabama legislature to finally step in and ban bear exploitation for good.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Was it uh this is a silly question, but was it the same bear?

SPEAKER_01 17:32

I think so. Terrible for sixteen years? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

I guess I don't know how long bears live.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

I don't know either, but I really hope he got some good ones in.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Jeez.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

You couldn't you couldn't pay me five bucks to get in a cage with a bear. No way. No. I don't care if it's been declogged, they still have teeth. And literally all they would have to do is sit on you.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

500 pounds. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I would oh I don't know if I'd watch somebody. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Depends on how many TVs I've had.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Depends on how many bears I've had. And beers. Bears and beers.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Battlestar Galactica. Yes. So now the state technically scrubbed this specific law during a 2015 legal house cleaning, but don't go booking any tickets just yet. If you try it today, you're still going to land your ass in jail for animal cruelty.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

As you should.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

And this just leads me to ask, Alabama, you good? Girl, you good?

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Please.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Can we please don't fight bears?

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Yeah. That goes without saying. Friends.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Alright, so moving across the Mississippi River, we hit Arkansas.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Did the devil go down to Arkansas?

SPEAKER_01 18:41

God damn it, Christie.

unknown 18:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Um, ordering a late night snack comes with a mandatory mute button on your steering wheel. In Little Rock, Arkansas, it is illegal to honk your car horn anywhere that serves cold drinks or sandwiches after 9 p.m., even if you're hungry.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

So enacted under Little Rock City Code Section 18-53. This law dates back to the mid-20th century rise of drive-ins and curb service restaurants. Customers would sit in their car and repeatedly honk their horns to attract the attention of car hop servers. I love a drive-in. Yeah, they're so fun.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Um except Sonic, because that's just gross. So I like one drive-in.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

I love Sonic.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

But only for the slushies. They don't really Oh and their tater tots are pretty good too. But they're slushies. Okay. Top tier. I'd love a good slushie.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

I probably won't go.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Alright. Nobody asked.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Just to clarify, I probably won't go.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

And if you try to, don't do it in Little Rock, Arkansas after 9 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Um, because these restaurants stayed open late and were often nestled right next to residential neighborhoods, the constant honking drove local homeowners crazy. Which, in all honesty, it was probably moms getting sick of assholes waking up their babies.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Yeah. Do you just turn on your lights, guys?

SPEAKER_01 20:01

I guess.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

That's how they work.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yeah. Anyway, the city banned late-night horn honking specifically at sandwich and drink shops to save neighbors from insomnia.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Okay, popping over the border to Oklahoma. No, the devil didn't go down there.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Did the devil go down to Oklahoma?

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Don't take my line. Um, there's uh quite a few weird statutes, but one of the weirdest might be the charge you can catch if you decide to use profane language in public.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

You'd be in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

I would be in trouble. The state swear jar refers to Oklahoma statutes, Title 21, Section 905, which explicitly establishes a fine of $1 for each offense.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

So this law dates back to 1910 and remains on the books. However, it's entirely unenforceable today because modern constitutional free speech protections under the First Amendment.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

That's a good point.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Yeah. It does give me the um the vibe of do you remember the free parking spot in Monopoly? When you like uh like you get a chance card and you have to put money in, we would just put money in under the free parking spot. And then if anybody landed there, that's what this reminds me of. Is like, do you think they just had like a swear jar and then whoever I guarantee they had like a swear jar. Like whoever went like a full year without saying anything got the money.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

No.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Or they threw like a party for those who weren't.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

They got yeah, they it got used as a party for if you didn't have to partake in the jar.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

A pizza party?

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

All right. The next law deals with the weed problem in Colorado. And if you were thinking marijuana, no need to go hiding your stash just yet. I'm talking about dandelions. Oh, okay. So according to the Peb Pueblo City Ordinance section 7-4-2, it is a public nuisance to allow dandelions to grow more than 10 inches tall.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

It is. They are a nuisance. I thought I thought the law was gonna be that you couldn't like blow the blowflower or whatever that's called.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

No. I like dandelions. They feed the bees. Yeah. They feed the bees before any of the other pollinators are out. I don't care.

unknown 22:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Have your dandelions.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

If I were if I were letting my lawn go, I wouldn't care about 'em. But when you're not letting your lawn go.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

We need more pollinating plants, though. Yeah. Anyways, whether that's girl inches or boy inches is still a mystery. So maybe just stick to the Mary Jane.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Just assume girl inches.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Yeah.

unknown 22:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

That's funny.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

And finally, over to our home state of Utah.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Did the devil go down to Utah?

SPEAKER_01 22:39

No. The devil. I don't think the devil's allowed me to do it.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Is the devil here?

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Maybe. It's me. It's you. Get your salt and throw it over your shoulder.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

I'm the problem. Okay. I'm the problem of this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

So listen, if you made it this far and you want a stiff drink, let me warn you that this is not the state for that.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

I wish I had a stiff drink right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Yeah, go yup.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Anyways, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

I can do this all by myself.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Yeah. I already am.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

So Utah's liquor laws are historically complex.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Oh my gosh, they're so stupid. I mean, get it, but like, oh I get it.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

I get liquor laws to some extent, but they are the ones here are a little ridiculous. Yeah. So it's most important to note that the good majority of our legislators here making these laws don't actually drink and therefore have no real concept of what they're doing, and leading to some highly unusual regulations. Yes. So starting off strong is drinking on an empty stomach. In Utah restaurants, you cannot just sit down and order a drink. You must state your intention to dine.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yes. You must order food if you're ordering a drink at a restaurant. At a restaurant. But what happens if you're at a bar?

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Well, I'm brett, I'm glad you brought that up because in fact, at one point, bars and restaurants had to list in their windows whether or not they were strictly a bar or strictly a restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

They don't have to do that anymore?

SPEAKER_01 23:58

I'm not sure if they do.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

I think they still do.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Do they have to? So if you're wandering around the U.S.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Because at a because kids can't go into a bar that's in Utah. Do you know kids can go in bars in other states though?

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Um so if you're wandering around the city and you see this is a bar, not a restaurant, that's where that is. They're not trying to be funny. That is literally the law.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

They just have to tell you.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

You know, lest you as a grown adult get confused and wander into an olive garden looking to get shit fixed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Not there. Not until you get a gut full of oil.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Yeah, you need some you need 72 bedsticks first.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

A gut full of Alfredo. I don't love Olive Garden. I just want to throw that out there.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Yeah. But if you want to sponsor us, I'll take some. We'll take some breadsticks. Not Christy, though.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

No, not me.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Not Christy. So unless you're lightweight like me, getting shitface might take you a while and it's gonna be pretty expensive. State law mandates a strict 1.5 ounce primary pour cap for cocktails, which means bartenders must use metered clicked pourers to prevent free pouring. And ordering a traditional double is legally impossible.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

In addition, and I just learned this, I didn't know it was a thing. Happy hour is banned across the state, the entire state. So silly, yeah. So no discounted prices on specials or alcoholic drinks or like no like timed windows. So they can do a full day of discounted things, but it can't be specific for like a certain hour time to get people in. And it can't be like a buy one, get one type of a deal either. That's illegal.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Which I know places that will do like a happy hour on like appetizers and stuff, but sometimes they do it on the drinks too. So which I don't, I'm like, how are you doing this? And I'm like, I'm not gonna, and I'm not gonna tell you who. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

It's none of your business. Um that's what I have written here.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Do they have to maybe I think how they get around it is they have to sell that particular drink all day at that price, right? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Yep, so it has to be all day, it has to be a full day of things. So, like you said, this is often loopholed by doing appy hour where they instead discount the price of appetizers to get people to come in.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Hoppy hour.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Or hoppy hour. So in Utah, there are also strict drink maximums. You cannot have more than two alcoholic beverages in front of you at any given point in a bar.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

So even if you're there, you're an adult, you have been you have been told that you are allowed to be there, your ID has been scanned, the whole shebang, you're there to literally drink. You cannot have more than two drinks in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

No.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

So basically what they're saying is chug that one, chug that one, order two more.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

Yeah. Which is once I see you throw those back, I will be happy to bring you two more.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Except I don't I think they have to watch you too, because they have to limit you to watch. Which great.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Honestly, like you shouldn't be drinking 17 beers, but no, but one of the weirdest things happened to us, we were at a golf course resort um down south, and the boys went and did this like golf simulator thing, and they just wanted like a beer. They just wanted a beer, but because it was technically like a restaurant or like a a place, they had to order food. But their waitress said, Well, I can I can get you a shot because of the ounces. So they could have a bunch of shots because they were a certain volume.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Smaller volume without getting beers.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Yeah, without getting food.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Yeah. See, that's that's right there, guys. Like just make just these laws are so silly.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

And that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard because you're gonna get more shit faced on shots of alcohol than you are on a couple of beers. Yeah. Especially those guys, they're big guys, like they're you know, they're not like little, but they're sitting back shots, like, yeah. So, anyways, it's silly, it's very silly. Um, but yeah, this this um this includes a strict ban on ordering a pitcher of beer just for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Yeah. So who else is gonna be drinking that beer with you? I need to see two other hands or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Yep. Every party has a pooper, and the pooper is Utah.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

Agreed, party poopers.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Party poopers. But I guess not totally party pooper because Utah is one of the states that does allow you to marry your first cousin if you want.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

You just need to be 55 plus and have a court rule that you can no longer reproduce.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Up that's real.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

Or 65 plus without the courts. Your first cousin. Okay. So you just gotta wait till you're 55 and can no longer unlock the country.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

I love you, but we have to wait till we're 55.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Yeah, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

So no, I'll I'll say it there there should be good strict alcohol laws because alcohol is dangerous, but yeah. It's just like so silly when it's like, oh my gosh, come on. Yeah, you have to jump through all the hoops, like or like can't buy can't go buy liquor at the grocery store.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

No bottles of wine at the grocery store, you have to go to a liquor store.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

I'll just make my own wine. Joke's on you.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

And all of that is so that the state profits, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Because like it they just controlling all of them is how they profit, but I don't know why they close it on Sundays.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Well, if we don't say you alcohol, maybe they'll go to church.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yeah, maybe. You still can buy beer at a gas station though on Sundays.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

So anyway. So those are the laws I have so far that I thought were kind of funny, interesting laws. Do you have any that you know of off the top of your head?

SPEAKER_00 29:33

Um, not a single one.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Hmm. Okay. Well.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Um, that's okay. Let's play a game.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Um, so we made it all the way from Pennsylvania over to Utah.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

The devil came with us the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yep. But we so rudely excluded our neighbors to the west. So I'm gonna give you a few weird laws, and you can tell me if it's California, Nevada, or nothing. Okay. Okay. Number one. This law makes it illegal to wear a fake mustache, beard, or whiskers in public if your intent is to evade the police. Cali, Nevada, or nothing?

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Nevada.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

No.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Oh, nothing?

SPEAKER_01 30:11

California.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Oh, oh that's funny.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

You're weird, huh?

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Cause I always think about that, like not that, but you know, in movies when somebody's trying to be evade law enforcement and they just go out looking exactly how they did the crime in their gloves, in their crime gloves, everything. I'm like, put on put on some glasses and a hat, guys. Yeah, you're so dumb. Or shave your face. You are so dumb.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Yeah. Okay. It is explicitly illegal to lick a local toad.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

Nevada.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

California. Okay. This was passed to stop teenagers from trying to get high off toxic psychoactive toad secretion.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

It's probably like not frogs in Nevada.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

I don't know, maybe just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Too hot.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

It is completely illegal to pawn your own false teeth or dentures for cash.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Nevada.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Nevada's correct.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Because people would probably do that.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Or obviously did.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

Yeah, they tried, I think. Okay. Washing your feet in the morning is illegal because unsightly smells should not occur before 9 a.m. unless written permission is given by the city council. None. None. That's nobody cares about your seat. Yeah, that is.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

I wish it was.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

It is illegal to place a chair bench or any stool on public sidewalk without receiving written permission from the city council.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Nevada.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Nevada's correct. And that's all I have for you today.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

Yay. Yeah. That's funny. Those are funny laws. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Thanks for listening and remember to stay human.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Stay curious.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

And don't let the robots win.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

And the devil's here.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Shut up about the devil.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Stop talking about the devil.