SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome to this week's episode of Two Brains One Bot. I am Christy. I'm Ashley. How's it going, girl?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Oh, it's going.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Yeah. Yeah. Are we going? Are you gonna survive? I'm gonna survive. She's kinda tired.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I am tie tie for some reason.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

I partied too close to the sun last night. Yeah, you did. My girl boss too close to the sun as commissioner.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

Well, I slept well, so I feel great.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Okay, let's just dive right into it. What are your thoughts on the phrase forgive and forget?

SPEAKER_01 0:47

I never do that.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

No.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I never forgive and I never forget. Yeah. I can hold a grudge with the best of them.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Yeah. I might pretend to forgive, but I'm not forgetting.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

I never I never pretend to forgive either.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

I might have too much on my plate to care, but I ain't forgetting. No, never.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

I still hold a grudge against a situation that didn't even involve me from when I was a teenager. And I and I worked at this place, and one of these girls was being mean to another, like a friend of mine that worked there. Oh no. I still don't talk to that bitch.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

No. Screw you, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Still. I'm still holding a grudge. And I'm 33.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

But it's not one that you like think about daily.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Yeah, but it's in this economy. Like you can't hold on to it forever. But like also, if you saw that person, you would be reminded and then be like, oh, I didn't forget what you did. No, I didn't forget. That's what I mean. Yeah. Okay, good. I'm glad we're on the same page. Yeah. So that's what this episode is about is forgiving, forgetting. Let's be petty. Never. I will never forget. So I got the idea for this episode after seeing a post on Reddit about a guy who got revenge on a pesky neighbor in a mild but effective manner. Okay. It's a petty revenge, if you will. Okay. And I love me some petty revenge. Like it's just petty. It's it doesn't hurt anyone. It's just petty and it makes you feel good.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Um, so Reddit actually has a whole subreddit on petty revenge. And I will say, I feel like the story I'm about to tell is probably the best one there. And then I was like reading through the other ones, and I was like, these are okay, but like they don't really meet the mark of like this one.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Right. I just need to stop for a minute and point out how we we've recorded a few episodes today and we started off talking about Dolly. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

And like being good person.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

And then we finally settled back into our true selves. Here we are.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Well, listen, I can be petty, but I can also be a good person.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Uh yeah, both.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah. Because the petty revenge typically nobody knows you did it.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

So I'm out there looking like Dolly Parton and she Dolly was petty. I just kidding. She wasn't, she was wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

I just wanted to know it was me though.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Yeah. But deep down they know it's you.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Tell them. I want them to know it was me.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Yeah. Okay. So the story, as it goes, this man who we will call OP, because that's what you do when you talk about people on Reddit. The original poster says his asshole neighbor drives like a maniac. And he said there's typically kids playing outside. Sometimes they're playing in the streets. And this person is a danger on the road. They're driving way too fast through a neighborhood full of kids. Like, come on now. Yeah. And OP claims that this person has also been known to blow through stoplights and is almost on two occasions almost hit OP with his car.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

And so he went through the proper channels of trying to report the legal driving, trying to report this maniac on the road. Um, they looked into like um what are those called speed bumps, but it required a whole laundry list of things to get that. Yeah. And eventually, like a police cruiser came and parked on their street like one time at 6 a.m. And he was like, that didn't help at all. So what does this man do? He takes his frustrations out in a very petty fashion, and I'm here for it. Okay. OP notes, the terrible driver, has a beautiful, pristine yard. So when OP goes out on his hot dog walks with his hot dog, his dog, he subtly flicks peppermint seeds into this guy's yard. Oh so he said, on the shelf next to his like doggy poo bags, there's a bad there's a little thing of peppermint seeds. Okay. So when he walks by this guy's house, he just flicks them in there.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Have you ever grown mint?

SPEAKER_01 4:32

No.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

You don't. It takes over. They say when you plant mint, you need to plant it in its own thing. If you plant mint in a big, like, boxed uh situation, right? It's everywhere. Oh my god. So yeah, literally, you can plant one tiny plant, and by the end of the season, it's spread like gossip. It's everywhere. Okay. And then you pull it and you're like, oh got it. Got it. Meld it. And it might disappear for a bit, but then it's back. Mint is the ultimate stage five cleaner. It roots everywhere. It really does. I have it up in my um, like I have a planter box um in my backyard, and I was like, oh, I'll keep it under control. And I put it in there, and then I did not keep it under control, and it was everywhere, and so I went through and pulled it, and that was at the start of spring of this year, and I haven't seen it all until just barely. Now there's one that's popped up. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

So that's the freshest version of revenge.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yeah. For real though. And so OP reported that by the end of the season, this guy had several healthy-looking mint plants popping up throughout his yard. And from the looks of it, the guy had been pulling them or spraying them. But unless you get all the roots, like you can pull them all you want.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

But unless you get those roots, they're gonna be a permanent fixture. And he'll be passing that mint on to his grandchildren.

unknown 5:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

So more of the story is let's not speed through neighborhoods lest we incur the wrath of a petty ass neighbor.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Yeah. I thought you were gonna say he went and unscrewed his tire like knobs.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

No, I read several of those of being like, oh, this person wouldn't stop parking in my thing, and so I just um I let the air out, but they were like, I let the air out on two so they would know it was intentional. Yeah. Or two because then they only have one spare tire. Like, dang, girl.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Yeah. I may or may not have been on that Reddit post.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

Yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

It's really good. I mean, it's the thing that about that that pisses me off though is that they won't do anything about it until someone gets killed. And it sucks that it has to get to that point before someone like faces the consequences of their actions.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Well, and like, why don't you be embarrassed that like your neighbors are probably like shaking their fists at you and being like, slow down? Like, I would be so embarrassed if my neighbor was like, hey man, you're driving way too fast around here.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Yeah. Same.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Whatever. All right. Here's another one that I liked from the Petty Revenge Reddit page. It's the parking lot revenge. So again, we'll go with OP. We're calling them OP. So OP tell OP details being in a busy parking lot of a shopping center where they had finally found a parking spot, but the parking lot was um structured with angled parking, and so it was like all the aisles were just like a one-way, so you could only pull into it like angled.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

So OP spees a sp sees a spot, super jazzed about it. They start heading down this aisle to go get this parking spot, which there's nobody in front of them, and it's a one-way, so like you're feeling like accomplished. No, no, no. Somebody comes up the opposite way and takes the spot. But and I would be seeing red, like if that happened to me, because it's like, yes, I got this spot, and then somebody comes up the wrong way, and it's like, man, you're not even gonna be able to pull into that spot. And like finding parking in a busy place is like one of my least favorite activities. And in fact, I'll probably just maybe not go somewhere if I know that the parking's gonna be an issue. Yeah, like never mind, I'll just stay home.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

I didn't want to hang out with you guys anyway.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Oh no, I can't come to dinner. I'm sorry. Why?

unknown 8:00

The parking.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Also, I didn't get to read the menu before I came.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I have no idea what to order. Um, anyways, so this wrongway driver gets the spot first and then spends five minutes blocking traffic while they complete a 300-point turn to get into the spot. And let's just be real like lady back in. Back in.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Back in. And just if you're gonna be a dick, be a smart dick and back in.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

No, no, no, no. But, anyways, OP um drives by after this person this woman gets into the spot and does like the petty, like lazy golf clap of like, oh, good job. Um, and the and yells, which I thought was funny. My blind grandma could have parked faster than you, and the person responds and says, Well, I got here first. Yeah, you got there first because you went down the wrong way. Yeah. So, anyways, OP um drives by, notices that the car is even after that 300-point turn, still parked like a total asshole. It's totally crooked still. And so they eventually find their parking spot, and as they're walking their way into the shopping center, they're like, You know what? Now's my time for my petty revenge. So they put a note on the car that says, I'm sorry, I bumped your car. You were parked crooked, and I had a hard time getting out, but left no phone number. The revenge was the thought of this bratty woman wasting her time looking for damage that didn't exist. Okay, love that.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Chef's kiss. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Um, okay. And then did you ever see that movie Dirty Work with Norm MacDonald and um Artie Lang?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

No.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Okay. I love this movie. It was like from the late 90s, but it's about and Norm McDonald. Do you know who Norm McDonald is? I probably, if you showed me a picture, probably, but I I think he's passed on now, but um, you know, he was in several Adam Sandler movies. He was like kind of in that, and I think maybe Artie Ling was too. I don't know, I could be wrong on that one, but anyways, yeah, you would recognize him. But it's anyways, it's about these two men who maybe lack some more some like social morales, whatever. Okay, but they need to raise $50,000 really quickly to pay for the heart transplant of the father of Artie Lang's character. And so they literally start a revenge for higher business and one like to promote their business, um, they like sabotage, like they see, and I can't remember exactly, but they see like a commercial being filmed for like a used car dealership, and so they hide a tied up woman, and she like jumps out of the trunk, and they're like, Are you tired of are you tired of getting it taken advantage of? We'll do your dirty work or whatever. Anyways, it's very, very funny. Um, but like another job that they do is for dirty work. Like somebody reports that their their landlord is just being terrible, it's like a slumlord, and so they go through in the apartment building and hide a bunch of dead fish so that the apartment like that's all trashed. Oh, I love it. Anyways, dirty work. If you're bored, watch dirty work, it's so funny. Anyways, but it makes me think there really is a real market out there for people who want to be petty and just don't have the time to walk a dog and flint mint and flick mint seeds into everybody's yard. I mean, it's definitely not me. I'm a rule follower, but I also just don't think you can get away with that stuff anymore.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

No, not with the not with all the doorbell cameras, not with all the cameras on everything.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah. So, anyways, I'm not saying we should go out and do these revenges, but they are funny.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

That's really funny. Like your neighbors driving terrible, flicking those seeds in.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Do it.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Okay. So then I looked at other types of revenge. Oh, okay. So we have petty revenge. And the next one is one that I used to partake in, and I don't anymore, thankfully, but bedtime revenge or bedtime procrastination.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Oh, every night. So every night.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a psychological phenomenon where you intentionally delay going to bed even though you may be exhausted, and it's a petty act of defiance against yourself.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Against myself.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

So for um, so again, let like let me describe it. So you've just had one of those days where your entire schedule belonged to literally everyone except you. You're too busy at work to take a breath, then you come home and have kid obligations to attend to, like taking them to all the sports and practices that you sign them up for. Yep. And we love the sports and we love taking them to practice. Like, don't get me wrong. Yeah, it's like sometimes I'm like, oh, I gotta drive carpool again, but then I'm like, they're thriving.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

I love it. Yeah, and you get to be like kind of in the group, like you get to like just listen. Yeah, how fun is that? Oh, what should we talk about today, girls? You're like, don't talk to us. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

I don't want to be a cool mom, I just want to be a good mom. But yeah, yeah, but anyways, and then you have dinner and the night is basically over, and all of a sudden you look and it's like 10 p.m. Everybody's asleep or pretending to be asleep, and you're sitting there exhausted, but your brain goes, Whatever B, it's my time now. Yeah. You haven't had a single moment to yourself. Correct. And so you know you should go to bed and you know you're gonna suffer tomorrow without adequate sleep, but in that exact moment, you feel like the only way to claw back any type of freedom is just to stay up and do something you want.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

And it's not even anything good. It's like I've I've heard of the the phrase of when you're going to bed and if there's something you want to do before, like you should ask yourself, would I wake up early to do this? Would I wake up early to watch one more episode of this show? Would I wake up early to scroll? And if the answer is no, then go to bed.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

I don't ever ask myself that.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

I don't either, and I think the reason is because for whatever reason, my kids have this weird psychic ability that if I wake up early, they know and they wake up early too.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

You're just loud.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

They're just I'm not loud. Like I'll literally open my eyes, and then all of a sudden there's a human there, and I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

They're loud. Sorry, they're loud. You were actually peacefully sleeping, and then they woke you up, woke you up. But it's just like, you know, you should go to bed. Yeah. And you know, like you don't even really care to watch that TV or scroll. And you know that you're sacrificing sleep for tomorrow. I always think about myself of tomorrow. Whenever I don't do I really just truly don't do this anymore, but when I used to it, just be like, it's okay, I'll be tired tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Future Christie's way more capable. That's tomorrow Ashley's problem.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Yeah, I do this, I do this a lot, and it's not necessarily I mean it is revenge, but it's not like against anyone but myself, I guess. Because like you said, like we still love the sports, we still love the things that we've had our kids like signed up for, and it's and I don't I also don't want to miss out on those things and opportunities.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

But yeah, there's just not enough hours in the day for yourself sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

And but you stay up as revenge for like your day, you're like, Oh, really? I was busy all day. Well, I'm just gonna stay up right now. Screw you day, and then it was like, No, just kidding, it just hurts you tomorrow when you're exhausted.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

But in this day and age, everybody feels like they need a piece of you. We've talked about this before. It's like it we're so accessible to everyone that like I need a minute to scroll on things and left on funny comments.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

I need a moment to watch everybody falling on TikTok. That's what I love. Cats being funny.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

My happy place, people injuring themselves on ice.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah, it's like the finally at the end of the day, it's like your you time. So if you're not I will say I don't participate anymore because I now particip I now plan out my me time to be first thing in the morning. So I now um get up first thing in the morning and go sweat with 30 other strangers. I love it in this like sick club that we're fully invested in.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Yeah, it's good for you.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

It's the gym. Yeah, don't be a perv.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

I wasn't gonna ask follow-up questions because that's none of my business.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Yeah, we're just sweating. But no, I love it. That's so that's my me time in the morning. Oh, I love your class. No, but it does, it really like sets my day off straight. It gets my body moving, my juice is flowing, and it just makes that makes me too tired at 10 p.m. to be like, well, I should scroll some. And it's like, nah, dog. Yeah, just close them eyes.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Close them. Can you text me that when you're going to bed? Be like, hey, you should be in bed right now.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

I can if you want me to. But I think you go to bed before me.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Yeah, we go get in bed, I think. Some nights I stay up way too late.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

We are heading up to bed between 10 and 10:15, and then brush. But you're already in bed at that point. But are when are you closing them eyes?

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Depends on the day. Like you said, if it's if it's one of those days where I've had no time to myself to do anything, then I'm probably gonna stay up till like 11. 11 30.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

No way.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yeah. I regret it every morning, and my husband reminds me every time. But does he stay awake or does he Oh no? Oh, is he gone? He's gone. He's me. Yeah, he's gone.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

The minute I'm in bed, like I do like this like happy squirm, like, oh, I'm so happy to be here. I've missed you all day.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Yeah, pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

My pillow and my blanket. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I probably fall asleep within five minutes. That's it. I need nothing. But then my spouse scrolls for a while. Yeah. Or reads.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

We're the same. Yeah, we're the same.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

That's true.

unknown 17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Sometimes, like, if I'm in also I'll put in like a podcast, like if I was listening to a podcast earlier in the day and I didn't get to finish it, then I'll finish it. Like I'll watch a show with my husband, usually scratches back, and he'll fall asleep, and then we'll turn the show off, and then I'll put the rest of my podcast in and do something on my phone while I'm like listening to the rest of it. So I love podcasts, you guys. Yeah, I know. I love podcasts. I I devour podcasts.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

But if I'm laying down and listening to something like goodbye, there is there is no staying. Like I'm I'm gone. That's good though.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

That's really good. Yeah. I don't know what's going on with all of what's going on up here, but I can't do that.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Oh. I read a lot of people were calling it like bedtime revenge or bedtime procrastination, but they say they lay down and then all of a sudden they think of a thousand different things, and I'm like, that's insomnia.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

That's also anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

And anxiety, but it's not breadtime procrastination. Like the procrastination is just like, no, this is the first time I've had to myself.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

And I'm not wasting it on dreams. I will say I do have bouts of insomnia though. So, like where I wake up at 3 a.m. for no good reason and then just stay awake for like an hour. But thankfully, those are few and far between.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

That's good.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Okay. Another revenge. Malicious competence or compliance. Malicious compliance.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

And I know this is gonna trigger you. Yeah. And I just need you to try and hold it together. Okay. Okay. For our listeners, this is when someone in authority gives you a completely stupid, rigid, or micromanaging instruction. This can be a boss, this can be a customer, this can even be a partner. But it's somebody telling you to do something that you know with all of your heart is wrong and stupid and is gonna lead to disaster. And but they tell you with their whole chest that this is the right way. And you're like, sure, Dan. Okay. And you might try and push back and be like, hey man, actually, like, here's maybe why we shouldn't do this. Or, hey, have you thought about X or you thought about Y? And it's usually met with that person like doubling down and being like, No, no, no, no, no. This is what we want.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

That that consequence will not happen. So you just throw your hands up and you're like, You got it, boss. You got it, customer. I am on it. You can count on me to do it exactly as instructed.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

And you're gonna hate it.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

And I'm gonna hate it, but I'm also gonna love it. Yeah. So then you execute the request with absolute, like literally to the letter compliance, knowing full well it's a complete dumpster fire down the road. You can have you can see it with your eyeballs, like the result of this, and you're loving every second of it while also slowly dying inside.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

I love it. So it's the ultimate form of weaponized compliance. You aren't breaking any rules. In fact, you're following the rules so hard that there will be no room for blame. And you just sit back with a cup of coffee and you're just watching that slow train wreck. Yep. Watching that train just come right in.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Okay, but don't say I didn't tell you.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

Yeah. But you're also completely ignoring like the spirit of the instruction. Like, you know, sometimes they'll be like, Well, this is what we said, and you're like, Yeah, that's what you said. And they're like, But in the spirit of things, you should have interpreted it to be this. Yeah. No, no, no. That's not what it is. I read the instructions. Yep. I'm not here to interpret your shit.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

No. I mean, unless you're doing an interpretive dance, don't talk to me about it.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Yeah. And then when they come in yelling at you or yelling at the situation, and you get to just sweetly smile and say, Hey, I was just doing exactly what you asked me to do.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Here are the screenshots of emails where you told me exactly the thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Per this thread. You said to do X, and I did X. Yep. Capitalized X.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

Yep. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Yeah. And then this is usually followed with either silence or my favorite, which is them coming up with the correct idea that you already told them. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Two years later.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

And it just yeah, it just so happens to be what you suggested. And acting as if it's a brand new concept. Wow. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Good job. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

Small golf clap.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

So there were so many good stories of malicious compliance online, but I'm just going to tell you one. But there were so many. I mean, and they're all they all just read the same. All of them just read the same. Yep. This one was kind of funny. Of course, from Reddit. So again, we're going to call them OP. They work for an IT company. And the founder and president of the company, of course, felt like the low-key call center employees were wasting their time on the internet. And so they asked OP, this IT person, to put together a report of all employee internet usage.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Oh, geez.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

OP feeling like this was a pretty silly request and suspecting that the president may try and use this as justification to reduce pay for these folks that are already making nothing low wages.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Did exactly They were told, and they put together a report of all employee internet usage and submitted it to HR as requested. As suspected, the call center people had boring internet usage and searches. So they were looking at Google, they were looking at Amazon, they were searching silly things, whatever. But like totally innocuous. Nothing special, nothing to see. But who could have guessed that the employee with the worst, the most egregious browsing history and internet usage was, of course, the president. And according to the post, their browsing history would make everyone blush. And I won't say the words, but you know, you know what they were looking up. Yep. They were looking it all up. And it's just classic. Yeah. Absolutely classic. And looking it up on work time, looking it up at work, all of it. Unabashedly.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Rules for thee, but not for me. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

So after HR reviewed the report of all the employee usage, OP was given a list of employees to exclude from the report. And you will never guess who was on the list. Just all the higher-ups. And so love that for them. And they're again just a million stories like that. Yep. Do you have any examples of I mean not the any that you want to share, but I will just say this.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I have an expression lately that I've been saying, and it is someone's gonna die on this hill.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

I instead of this is the hill I'm gonna die on, someone's gonna die on this hill.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Someone's gonna die on this hill. Somebody.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

And I'll be there.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

I'll be there for it. And it ain't gonna be me. I do like that. That's a good twist to that to that phrase.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Someone's gonna die on this hill.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

Guys, Ashley is trademarking that. Somebody's gonna die on this hill.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I think I saw it on the internet, so I can't trademark it because it's not mine.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Okay, never mind. Ashley really doesn't live by that.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

I appreciate it because someone is gonna die on this hill. Whether it's me, and I'm gonna bring my dead horse with me.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Oh yeah. I'm dragging that thing up the hill. Gladly.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

With all my all the guster. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

I love malicious compliance, though. I think that's wonderful. I think I need to start using that more in my life.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but so what's the moral of the story here? Like, is petty revenge healthy? Because I kind of think it is.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

The moral of the story is just because you are the head of a company does not mean that you know everything about the goings-on.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

You probably know nothing.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

It seems like the higher you go, the less you know. So trust your people.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Yeah. I also read a story. This one was so funny, but it was about um, and this is like more of like a customer to like somebody supplying something, but it was like a mobile massage therapist, and she got like a request for a 90-minute massage, and it came with all these word instructions like only deep tissue. Don't talk to me once you start. Don't ask me if the pressure is good. Only 90 minutes, nothing extra. Like once 90 minutes is done, we are done. And again, don't talk to me. I hate when I hate when they talk to me during the sessions. And so the the person wrote back and said, Okay, just so we're clear, like, outlined it. And the person was like, Yep, that's right. And then when they got there, she said, just to be clear, you want no interaction, just deep tissue, just 90 minutes, nothing extra, blah, blah, blah. And um, anyways, so the massage therapist said they set up, they put like one earbud in so that they could still hear, just in case the person said something, they put like a timer down and made sure that like the client could see the timer. And then they just started doing the deep tissue, and they said, Every time they winced, I didn't let up on the pressure because they told me not to, and I didn't ask anything and I didn't do anything extra. And she said, You know, a lot of the times I'll do like uh like an oil scalp massage or anything like that. And but the minute, the absolute second that that timer went off, I was like, Well, you're done. And the client sat up and was like, Wait, what? Uh, but like you didn't even like the the pressure was all off. And she's like, You asked me not to to check in, you asked me, and they were like, but and they're like, I'm not gonna tip. And the lady was like, I don't really care, you already paid for it. See you later. Nice. People are crazy.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Yeah, people are crazy. Don't be an asshole. If you're getting a service from somebody, say thank you. Or just like remember what you say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

You asked to not be checked in with. I thought that one was so funny. Um, but yeah. So I just kind of feel like petty revenge is healthy. Like it just kind of, I think it just gives you like just a brief, like you get let all those emotions like rise up, and it's just like that nice little like I don't know. It's like letting the pressure out of the instant pot. Yeah, you gotta do that to get the to get the goods. Um it probably isn't healthy according to therapists, but who knows? No.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

It's effective. I'll ask mine when I get in there.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

Reach back. Because you know, sometimes a lot of times in life I'll be like, well, karma's a bitch when you are, but karma sometimes takes too long.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Yeah, she's a slow bitch.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

And people need to people need to nudge it a little bit to form mint seeds or malicious complaints. So and I'm not saying do any major destruction here, but just offering a little chaos into the world isn't so bad. No, it's like better than burning the the whole building down.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

TBD.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

TBD, burning it all down, burn it to the ground. So, where do you think you fall on the petty spectrum?

SPEAKER_01 27:47

I'm petty as shit.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

So you're like I'm so petty, all about the petty revenge. And are you still doing bedtime revenge?

SPEAKER_01 27:53

I am still doing bedtime revenge. I'm gonna do better. Okay, because I'd like to start waking up early.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

I like waking up early.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

When I was meditating in the mornings, I was a completely different person. I was so calm and so and I need to get back to that. I fell off of it and obviously fell back into my bullshit. Yeah. Like, you know. Um now she's back on her bullshit. Back on my bullshit, but like I need to go back to meditating every morning. It just sets the day off right.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

I just, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

And I will say, like, and this is a previous me, but like when you when I was in the phase of life that you are in, where probably like your kids come wake you up in the morning. Getting woken up by your kids is a sweet. It's very sweet because it's kind of fun. They're excited to see you. But it just like it's like getting cold water thrown on your face.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Yeah, immediately it's like, go. Yeah, we've got we've got this, this, this, this, this, this, this. I can't even like Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

So back in the days when that was my potential reality, it was like, oh man, if I could even just wake up five minutes before them and just have a minute to like breathe and groan and moan, like, I was so much better off than getting just yeah, that cold water in the face.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

So use the restroom by myself.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Drink a hot cup of coffee. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Talking dirty.

unknown 29:09

I know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

I will I will eventually, I think I'm gonna get back to it.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Um what time do they wake up?

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Usually about 7 30.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

That's like I said, it's unreasonable.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

No, it's if they were getting up in the six o'clock hour, that would be like a okay, fine, like we can maybe wait. But 7 30. Yeah. Even on the weekends, like today I woke up at I mean, my eyes opened at six, and then they opened up again at seven, and then I think I got up at I got out of bed about 7 30.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

I was living my best life when I was waking up at 6 and I had like an hour to kind of like really to like slow roll the day. Slow roll the day, have like a moment to myself, but then I noticed my my eldest was starting to wake up closer and closer to that six o'clock. So I'm like, nope, bringing it back down. If I'm unconscious, she's unconscious. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

Hear me out. You know, move the coffee maker into your bedroom. It's like the George Fulreman grill.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

And then you just have coffee in bed before they even wake up.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

You know what I was doing when I was doing this 6 a.m. thing? I was such a better person. I need to get back to this. I can delay my coffee pot. So I was making my coffee at night and then delaying it till 6 a.m. the next morning, and then I was getting out of bed. Like I was ready to go because if there's coffee, it's almost like someone else made it for you.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

And so well, someone else did.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Yeah. Actually last night. Actually last night. But I think I'm gonna have to start doing that again. And like also preparing at night for the next day, that also helps me.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Well, it sets yourself up, yeah, to do all those tasks instead of trying to do them all last minute right before you leave. So your your girls don't wake up though when your husband gets up because he gets up early.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

He gets up way early, no.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

He's just quiet as a mouse. Do you wake up?

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Very rarely. Oh wow. Unless he snoozes alarm. Yeah, he's pretty respectful. There was one time before we had kids, and he had an alarm sound that was a screaming alarm sound, like a it was a song.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Be so for real.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

But the the portion of the song was the someone singing like very passionately, and it was like very loud. And I remember I had I had to make him change it because I would like wake up like I'm like, you've got to change that. And he thinks it's the funniest thing ever. Oh my gosh. When we when we talk about that, but geez. No, okay. This is my promise. You guys can check up on me. I'm going to start waking up early and go to bed at a reasonable time.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Are you gonna do it tomorrow?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

So tonight you gotta you gotta get your coffee all ready so that there's like a delicious reward waiting for you.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

And I gotta get everything set up for the day tonight. I know. But it'll be so much better. Once you get in the routine of things, yeah, those first couple days are hard, but once you're in the routine of things, you're just such a better person.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

Yeah. I always tell you before this, like I've been out of routine, I've been having like leisurely mornings, and I'm like, I just gotta get back to it. Yeah. Because sitting down for five minutes turns into like 30 minutes. Yeah. So okay. Well, revenge. Let's play petty or pass. Okay, let's do it. Okay. Your neighbor consistently parks their car so close to your driveway that it takes a 10-point turn just to back out. They refuse to move it. Do you leave a note or do you submit their phone number for free insurance quotes?

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Um, submit their number.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Yeah. That's petty.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

I'm not I'm also not above hitting that car as I pull out.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

But then it like messes up your car.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

My text my aunt, like where she lives, she lives like kind of on a bend. And her driveway, literally, the people that live on the opposite side of the road of her, and they have like a very large driveway. They always park their cars like literally right at the end of their driveway. Like, so and she not not anymore, but she kind of does. She like had two new drivers at certain points in that time frame. And I was like, Do they just want you to hit them? Like, and they just park always just park there. And I'm like, You're what's wrong with the world. You're the people that stand in the middle of the aisle, you're the people don't return their carts, and you park right at the end of someone's driveway.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

And you also probably never was kind and rewinded.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Oh, you for sure didn't. You took those movies back to Blockbuster and got charged the extra fee and you didn't care.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

Yeah, you but I I think if if that's the situation, like I think their insurance would be responsible.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

No, because you're hitting them.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

But they're like in your path of travel. I don't know. I think you could argue it. And I'm not able to. I'm not above it.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

I mean, she's lived in this house. I don't even know when she moved in. I can't even guess. But forever. And every time I go over there, every time I see that car, I'm like, you're such an idiot. Yeah. Absolutely for parking right there. Yep. Okay. Next one. A former friend is still freeloading off of your Netflix account months later. Instead of changing the password and locking them out, do you go into their profile and systemically ruin their algorithm by liking all sorts of obscure toddler TV shows? Are you petty or do you pass?

SPEAKER_01 33:59

I'm petty. Okay. So you're done. What I would do, I would go in and watch two episodes ahead of where they're at. Oh. So that when they go to start, they think like continue watching. That spoils everything for them.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

That's that's diabolical. Yeah, it's diabolical. Yep. Okay. You're out of town over the 4th of July weekend with your family that includes many toddlers. You're the neighbors at this cabin you're staying in. Continue lighting off the loudest fireworks every few minutes at 1 a.m. This turns into waking up the toddlers in the house. Do you brush it off as people just having fun on the 4th of July? Or at 6 30 a.m., when those same toddlers wake up, do you hand them pots and pans and open up the cabin deck doors and host an early morning pots and pans parade next to the offending house?

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Yep. 100% that pots and pans.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Fun fact. That was a true story.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Really?

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Yeah. My family was up at um a lake for 4th of July one weekend. We all had little kids. The neighbors were just lighting off fireworks all night, and we were just like, me and my sisters were like, Is this for real? Like, are you guys like, and maybe even the kids didn't wake up, but we were waking up.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Yeah. So guess what? And you have that anxiety of your kid waking up.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Oh yeah, that's probably exactly what it was.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

As a kid, that's a scary way to wake up.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

And I kids hate fireworks.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Yeah, and I think it did wake up our kids.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

But like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

And then those kids, they I mean, they were early risers, and then that morning we were just like, Oh, have you guys ever hit a pan with like a wooden spoon? And so we sent them out on the deck. We literally let them like, yeah, go for it. Go for it. That's great.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

I would go so far as to get them one of those microphones that has like the speaker connected to it.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Oh, well, I mean, this was back seven years ago, eight years ago.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Go out front and sing me your favorite song. I bet it's gonna say let it go one thousand times. Tell us.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Yes, sing us let it go. Sing us the whole entire frozen soundtrack. Okay, last one. You and your friend are working fast food, and a group of people come in that have clearly been swimming or doing some type of water uh activity. They are rude to you and your coworker for no reason when you and your coworker are just amazing people. So do you just chalk it up and say, oh, just terrible customers, or crank that AC. Or no, or does your coworker go out behind the business and see a boat parked back there and throw rotten tomatoes in their boat? Are you pass or petty?

SPEAKER_01 36:32

I'm petty.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Okay. Also, fun fact that happened.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

I would crank the AC too, though.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

I don't remember if I don't know if we had access to the AC, but I just I don't even remember why these people were so rude to me and my coworker, but my coworker was like rude, and she went out and she threw rotten tomatoes in that boat. So you know they got home later. Who even knows how long ago or how long after? And then there was rotten tomatoes in their boat.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

I think they were just sassy with us.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

And I was like, no, yeah, no, you don't get a choice like that.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

I feel like it should be a requirement that everybody works at least two years in customer service before they ever have to like be let out into the world. Yeah. You should have to go and work customer service because you were you've gotta be kidding me.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

You know, and maybe that's like the comeback nowadays, like, oh, like you know, people are like, oh, I you you didn't have siblings growing up, or oh, you didn't this, oh, you've never worked customer service before.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

Pretty much. Yeah. There, I mean, I worked customer service for like seven years of my life. And I remember like people were freaking feral. Yes. Yeah. Insane. Insane. Like you like literally, you're in a public space right now and you're acting this way. You need some, you need some something. You need rotten tomatoes in your boat.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Which it was a hot day, and then they probably they probably drove home and didn't do anything with that boat. Cause like typically when you boat, you like clean it all out so you don't have to do it when you get home. Yeah. Yep. FTB. Yep. Yeah. All right. Well, okay, that's the end of the episode. Um, you have anything else you want to add?

SPEAKER_01 38:09

No, that's all.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

So again, let's be like Dolly and be nice, but also there's gonna be people in your life that you can be petty.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yeah, and I will say this you're maybe teaching somebody a lesson about how to treat others.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Treat others as you as you want Dolly to treat you.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

Yep, exactly. Not me though.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

Oh, and Ashley's gonna follow up and let us know if she really did wake up.

SPEAKER_01 38:30

I will. I will follow up next time. Let you know if I really did wake up. I'm going to. I think I'm going to. You're gonna try it out. Yeah, try it out.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

I do like the meditation thing.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

I loved meditating in the mornings. I went, I mean, and it's like five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 38:41

Like you like literally, it doesn't have to be this hour-long no situation. It can be literally five minutes just to set your brain right.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

In the summertimes during that time of my life, I would go and lay a blanket out in my yard and I would meditate as the sun was coming up, and then I would like journal. It was so good for me.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

Where's that, Ashley?

SPEAKER_01 38:59

She gone. She gone. She's dying on the hill.

SPEAKER_00 39:03

Somebody's dying on that hill.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Somebody's dying on that hill.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

All right. Well, thanks again for listening. Um, I did it correctly last time. I don't remember. Remember to stay human. Oh, yeah. Remember to stay human. Stay curious. And don't let the robots win. Bye. Bye.